Here's what a junior analyst at a top hedge fund does every morning:

They pull SEC filings to see what Buffett, Ackman, and Druckenmiller have been buying. They run screens on fundamentals — margins, debt, cash flow. They check macro indicators for sector tailwinds. They scan for catalysts — earnings, FDA approvals, insider buys. They review institutional flow data. And they study technical charts for momentum.

Then they distill all of that into a short list for the portfolio manager.

That process takes a team of people, Bloomberg terminals, and a few million in annual salaries.

We built an AI that does the same thing.

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It's not a crystal ball. No one can predict the market. But having a system that processes SEC filings, fundamentals, technicals, and money flow data for you every single day? That could be a genuine edge.

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☕️ GM Munchers! I hope your weekend was restful because we're lining up to have a crazy week. Yes, even crazier than my wife's reaction when she found out I bought more Bitcoin after promising her I was "done with that."

On today’s menu:

• 📉 Peace Deal. Ultimatum. Nobody Knows Anything.

• 👎️ Wall Street's Favourite Fantasy Is Dead

• 💀 This Stock Crashed 33% on Friday

• 🚀 Is This Mineral Stock About to Fly?

• 🏚️ Google Searches for “Help With Mortgage” Hit Record High

Friday’s numbers:

BREAKING NEWS

📉 Peace Deal. Ultimatum. Nobody Knows Anything.

In case Friday's carnage is already a distant trauma you've tried to repress, here's a quick refresher on how we got here.

1. 🛢️ The Afternoon Oil Ambush: Friday morning was actually looking decent. Then oil remembered it’s the villain in this movie and violently ripped 3.3% into the close, settling at $112.19 a barrel. Traders who were cautiously optimistic at noon were stress-eating by 3pm.

2. 🏦 The Fed Pivot Died on Friday: For months, Wall Street's entire bull case was built on one hope — that the Fed would cut rates this year. $112 oil makes inflation sticky and sticky inflation makes rate cuts impossible. Futures traders figured this out on Friday and aggressively torched every single bet they had on a 2026 cut. The fantasy is officially dead.

3. 😭 The Bond Market Threw a Fit: While retail investors stared at red candles, the smart money was watching the 10-year Treasury yield explode to 4.38%. When yields spike that fast, government bonds become irresistible and high-growth stocks become radioactive. It's basically gravity for your portfolio.

And if that wasn’t enough drama, when the closing bell rang, Trump casually mentioned he was thinking about "winding down" the conflict with Iran. Trading bots scanned the words "winding down," bought everything in sight, and every trader who shorted into the weekend got absolutely squeezed. The S&P 500 ripped 1% in minutes.

Since then?

Roughly 24 hours later, Trump took to social media and issued the ultimate ultimatum: If Iran doesn't fully open the Strait of Hormuz, he will obliterate their power grid within exactly 48 hours.

The Munch Take: Peace deal. Nuclear threat. Peace deal. Nuclear threat. I've watched tennis matches with less back and forth. Nobody knows what's real, the market hates uncertainty more than anything, and Monday open is going to be absolutely unhinged. My wife says I need to touch grass. She's probably right.

📉 Wall Street's Favourite Fantasy Is Dead

Here's the real story nobody is talking about while everyone argues about politics.

The entire stock market rally of the last year was built on one single bet: the Fed cutting rates. That bet is now more dead than when I ask my wife if I could golf on both Saturday and Sunday. It’s dead, buried, and Wall Street is expecting inflation to now hit 5% in 2026. In case you need a reminder, their target is 2%.

Yes, I didn’t think it was possible, but my grocery bill is about to get even more expensive.

Here's what's driving it:

1. 🛢️ The $119 Oil Wrecking Ball: Oil isn't just gasoline. It's cargo ships, freight trains, 18-wheelers, and farm equipment. When oil is $119 a barrel, everything gets more expensive. Everything.

2. ⏰ The Supply Chain Sequel Nobody Asked For: The Strait of Hormuz moves 20% of the world's oil. With Iran threatening ships and Trump issuing 48-hour ultimatums, commercial vessels are refusing to enter the Gulf. We've seen this movie before. It was called 2021 and it was not fun.

3. ❌ The PPI Already Proved It: The 3.4% wholesale inflation print from last Wednesday wasn't a prediction. It was a confession. Costs are already surging before the oil shock is fully priced in.

What This Means For Your Portfolio:

1. High-growth tech stocks are radioactive in a 5% inflation world. Rate hikes back on the table means those valuations get destroyed.

2. Your high-yield savings account paying 5% feels safe until you realize inflation at 5.2% means you're actually losing money by sitting still.

3. The smart money is rotating into energy, commodities, and boring dividend stocks with real pricing power. Basically everything Warren Buffett has been buying while the rest of us chased AI stocks into the sun.

The Munch Take: The rally was built on a fantasy. That fantasy is now gone. Welcome to the new game — same as the old game, except everything costs more and your tech stocks hurt to look at.

MARKET OVERVIEW

🍿 Tasty Movers & Shakers

📦 $FDX FedEx quietly crept up 0.93% on a Q3 earnings beat. Stronger US volumes, better pricing power, and a solid peak shipping season. Not glamorous. Not viral. Just a profitable box company doing profitable box things. Respect.

🛰️ $PL Planet Labs absolutely went nuclear, ripping 26% on Friday. Yes they crushed Q4 earnings with 41% revenue growth. But the real driver? When missiles start flying in the Middle East, every government on earth suddenly needs real-time satellite imagery of what's burning. War is terrible. Satellite stocks apparently love it.

💀 $SMCI Super Micro Computer face-planted 33% after the U.S. government charged the co-founder with violating export control laws. Translation: he was quietly shipping AI servers to China. The stock didn't just drop — it got absolutely vaporized. Turns out "don't sell advanced AI hardware to your country's biggest rival" is actually a rule they enforce.

👟 $NKE Nike sliced to a fresh 52-week low near $52, down 17% in 2026. The math is brutally simple. When consumers are staring down 5% inflation and $9 gas, they stop buying $150 sneakers. Nobody is lacing up Jordans on an empty wallet. Just do it has officially become just don't.

TRADING SUCCESS

🤑 Monday Motivation

🚀 Pre-Market Fuel

1. 🚀 Is this mineral stock about to fly? (Ad)

2. 🏚️ Google searches for “help with mortgage” are the highest in history.

3. 👀 How much the Magnificent 7 are down from their 52-week highs.

4. 😬 Billionaire Larry Silverstein just insured this building against terrorist attacks.

5. 📉 Gold just had the biggest weekly sell-off since 1983.

🍪 Munchy Memes

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