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📉 A Billionaire Just Bought This Stock
Pip Munch
February 12, 2026
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☕️ GM Munchers! Jobs report crushed expectations, which is great for America but terrible for my excuse arsenal. Can no longer blame "this brutal economy" when my wife finds me watching YouTube videos about optimal ergonomic chair positions at 2 PM on a Tuesday. The data betrayed me.
On today’s menu:
📉 Jobs Report Crushed It. Markets Shrugged.
👀 Bill Ackman Just Bet Big on Meta
🍔 McDonald's Is Racing To The Bottom
🧵 Lyft, Shopify & American Airlines
😬 This Billionaire Is Predicting This Stock Will Crash
Yesterday’s numbers:
S&P 500 | 6,941 | +0.00% |
Nasdaq | 23,066 | -0.16% |
Dow Jones | 50,121 | -0.13% |
Bitcoin | $67,900 | -1.26% |
BREAKING NEWS
📊 Jobs Report Crushed It. Markets Shrugged. Welcome to 2026.
The highly anticipated January jobs report came out yesterday and absolutely demolished expectations. The kind of beat that would normally trigger champagne corks and victory laps.
The numbers:
Payrolls: Rose by 130,000 (expected: 55,000)
Unemployment: Dropped to 4.3% (expected: 4.4%)
Wages: Climbed 0.4% for the month, 3.7% annually
Translation? The economy added more than double the expected jobs, unemployment fell, and wages rose. On paper, this is fantastic.
The market's reaction? Total melancholy. Basically nothing moved.
Why? Because in the bizarro world of 2026, good economic news is actually bad news for the market. Here's the logic:
Strong jobs = economy doesn't need help = Fed won't cut rates = stocks don't get the juice they desperately want
The odds of a March rate cut dropped from 20% to 10% after the report.
The Munch Take: People want jobs but investors want rate cuts. Looks like we can’t get both in this crazy world. For now, we’re stuck in this weird in-between where nobody knows if we’ll get a recession in the next 12 months or if AI is going to unlock a super cycle. Until we get some clarity, expect sideways chop and existential dread.
🎯 Bill Ackman Just Bet Big on Meta (And Nobody Cared)
Billionaire investor Bill Ackman revealed yesterday that Pershing Square took a massive stake in Meta—now 10% of the fund's total capital.
His thesis? "We believe Meta's current share price underappreciates the company's long-term upside potential from AI and represents a deeply discounted valuation for one of the world's greatest businesses."
The context: Meta stock is down 7% over the last 12 months as investors panic over the company's AI spending bonanza. Their Q4 earnings report showed they'll drop between $115 billion and $135 billion on AI-related expenditures in 2026 alone.
Wall Street's reaction to that number? Collective hyperventilation.
Ackman's bet: Meta trades at 22x forward earnings—cheap versus Alphabet, Apple, and Nvidia. He's betting Wall Street's AI spending panic is missing the bigger picture.
Pershing's credibility: The fund beat the S&P 500 last year (20.9% vs 17%). When Ackman bets big, people notice.
Meta's reaction: Nothing. Stock barely moved.
The Munch Take: Classic value play—buying a world-class business temporarily unloved due to short-term spending fears. The question: Is Meta's AI spending visionary or just burning billions to keep up? History says don't bet against Zuckerberg. But history also said the metaverse was the future. We're neutral.
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STOCKS
🍔 McDonald's Is Racing To The Bottom
McDonald's reported Q4 earnings yesterday and crushed expectations thanks to going all-in on their value strategy. AKA, basically racing to out-cheap everyone.
The numbers:
EPS: $3.12 vs. $3.05 expected
Revenue: $7B vs. $6.84B expected
Same-store sales: Up 5.7% (vs. 3.9% expected)
U.S. same-store sales: Up 6.8%
The strategy: $5 Meal Deals, $2.99 Snack Wraps, and stricter franchise standards ensuring "consistent value"—corporate speak for "keep it cheap or lose the arches."
The viral moments: McDonald's became the world's largest sock seller for a week via the Grinch meal (50 million pairs sold), triggered their highest-ever sales day, and launched McNuggets with caviar for Valentine's that crashed the site.
Meanwhile, Chipotle bleeds: Down 30% last year and another 6% drop this week. CEO Scott Boatwright's response? Hike prices 1-2% in 2026 because their food is "worth every penny" while targeting $100K+ earners. Customers threatened boycotts. Again.
The Munch Take: McDonald's races to the bottom, stock up 5.77% this year. Chipotle bets on premium pricing, gets destroyed. The lesson? In a weakening economy, cheap wins. When wallets tighten, people buy $5 meals, not $15 burritos. McDonald's figured it out. Chipotle's still learning.
MARKET OVERVIEW
🍿 Tasty Movers & Shakers
🚗 $LYFT Lyft had a day worse than being stuck in a car with broken A/C in August traffic—crashing over 16% as Wall Street collectively hated their ride-share numbers. The CEO tried damage control, claiming they have "record profits" and "generated over a billion dollars in cash," which sounds pretty solid until you realize the market doesn't care about your feelings or your CFO's PowerPoint slides.
🛍️ $SHOP Shopify dropped a bombshell: record-breaking revenue (up 31%) and a $2 billion stock repurchase program. Did the stock explode higher? Nope. It faceplanted over 10%. Investors saw free cash flow dropping next quarter and fled like it was a sinking ship. Sometimes even winning isn't enough.
✈️ $AAL American Airlines dropped 4.97% after their pilots' union publicly challenged management over the company's strategy and operations. When your own pilots don't trust the way you're running the airline, that's not exactly a confidence booster. Delta's looking pretty good right about now.
🦉 $DUOL Looking for a stock that's been absolutely annihilated? Meet Duolingo—down 70% in the last 6 months as AI concerns obliterate the company's valuation. I thought learning German was brutal. Can't imagine how their shareholders are feeling watching that green owl's stock price crater into oblivion.
From the financial renegade who has predicted almost every major economic event since the late ‘90s comes an urgent new warning:
America Is About To Be Displaced, Forever
An unstoppable new force is about to destroy millions of Americans financially (Goldman Sachs estimates 12,400 daily), while generating millions of dollars for others… Which side will you be on?
🚀 Pre-Market Fuel
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