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☕️ GM Munchers! How was the State of the Union? I have no idea. My wife made me watch the Real Housewives instead. Both featured wealthy people yelling at each other for two hours, so I assume I got the full experience anyway.

On today’s menu:

• 📉 The "AI Hangover" Gets a Cure (For Now)

• 🥈 The Tale of Two Economies

• 🇹🇼 The Taiwan Invasion Scenario

• 📆 Nvidia Earnings Day

• 😬 The S&P 500’s Worst-Performing Stock of 2026

Tuesday’s numbers:

BREAKING NEWS

📉The "AI Hangover" Gets a Cure (For Now)

The market's bipolar disorder continues, but thankfully it woke up on the right side of the bed yesterday and remembered how to function like a normal adult.

Monday's panic: Investors were convinced advanced AI tools would completely annihilate traditional software and consulting businesses. Cue the mass selloff and existential dread.

Tuesday's redemption arc: The market remembered the TACO Trade exists and decided maybe AI isn't the apocalypse after all. AMD led the charge, absolutely ripping 10% higher after announcing a multi-year deal to supply chips for Meta's AI infrastructure.

Salesforce popped 4.07%, DocuSign climbed 2.63%, and suddenly everyone's best friends with artificial intelligence again.

Plot twist: Just when we thought the vibes were improving, JPMorgan CEO Jamie Dimon dropped a tactical nuke by saying he's "starting to see parallels to the era before the 2008 financial crisis." Nothing says "bullish market" like the most powerful banker in America casually comparing current conditions to the worst financial collapse in modern history.

The Munch Take: We're in peak whack-a-mole territory. Monday: AI destroys everything. Tuesday: AI saves humanity. Wednesday: Who knows, maybe AI becomes sentient and starts its own hedge fund. Trading this volatility? Brutal. Long-term investing by buying discounted software stocks while everyone panics? Starting to look like the sanity-preserving play here.

🥈 The Tale of Two Economies: Corporate Profits vs. Your Broke Neighbour

Everybody keeps talking about the "K-shaped recovery" and I was tired of pretending I understood what that meant. Here's the breakdown:

• Top arm: Corporate America printing money

• Bottom arm: Average consumers getting crushed

And two things happened yesterday that prove corporations are feasting while the rest of us are headed for the bug protein diet.

The Evidence:

1. Scotiabank: Posted $2.3 billion in profit while setting aside $576 million for bad loans. Translation: they're making record profits off interest payments while their internal data screams "consumers are maxing out credit cards and about to default." Not good.

2. Home Depot: Beat earnings and raised its dividend, which sounds great until the CEO warned about "consumer uncertainty." People aren't remodelling kitchens anymore—they're buying water heaters when the old one explodes. It’s survival spending, not luxury spending.

What This Means: These two economies can't coexist forever. Corporations can't generate record profits if their customers go broke. The market's betting the Fed cuts rates and rescues consumers before corporate earnings crack.

The Munch Take: The markets are at all-time highs while consumers drown in debt. One of these is lying. We're watching credit card delinquency rates like hawks.

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BIG PICTURE

🇹🇼 The Taiwan Invasion Scenario: When Your iPhone Becomes a Geopolitical Crisis

Well, this wasn’t in our 2026 bingo card.

A report from the New York Times yesterday revealed that the CIA secretly warned Apple, Nvidia, and AMD in 2023 that China could invade Taiwan by 2027. This isn't fear-mongering. It's the ultimate Black Swan nightmare.

Why it matters: Taiwan Semiconductor Manufacturing Company (TSMC) produces 90% of the world's most advanced chips. Apple, Nvidia, and AMD don't manufacture anything—they just design chips and send blueprints to TSMC. If China invades or blocks Taiwan, that supply chain doesn't slow down—it evaporates overnight.

What could happen to markets:

1. Mega-cap tech apocalypse: Nvidia, Apple, and AMD would have nothing to sell once inventory runs out. Because these companies dominate the S&P 500 and Nasdaq, the broader market crashes instantly.

2. Hyperinflation chaos: Advanced chips are in cars, medical devices, airplanes, appliances. Suddenly you can't manufacture anything. Prices skyrocket.

3. Flight to safety: Gold, Treasuries, and the US Dollar would see historic buying sprees.

The only winners: Basically, nobody except maybe Intel (US-based manufacturing) and defence contractors.

The Munch Take: This isn’t going to move markets today, but the report shows that there is a genuine threat of China doing this. The market's pricing Apple and Nvidia for perfection, assuming this never happens. But if it does, the global economy hits a brick wall at 200 mph.

MARKET OVERVIEW

🍿 Tasty Movers & Shakers

👀 $PYPL The PayPal acquisition rumours continue. The latest: payment giant Stripe might swoop in and buy the company. PayPal launched 7% higher on the news. Shoutout to the Munchers who bought after our February Stock Pick email—you're either geniuses or accidentally stumbled into a win. Either way, we'll take credit.

🚀 $MSFT Microsoft announced a partnership with Elon Musk's Starlink yesterday, because apparently the only thing missing from Microsoft's empire was satellite internet controlled by the world's most unpredictable billionaire. What could possibly go wrong?

💪 $PLNT Turns out we've all already abandoned our New Year's resolutions. The stock crashed 8.97% as solid fourth-quarter earnings got absolutely obliterated by soft forward guidance. The market doesn't care how well you did—it only cares if you're about to disappoint.

😥 Prediction markets now show a 95% chance Bitcoin drops below $60,000. Remember when institutional money was supposed to reduce volatility and prevent catastrophic drawdowns? Good times. We're currently sitting 52% below the $126,000 all-time high, which is the kind of math that makes retail investors cry into their cold wallets.

📆 $NVDA The world's largest company, Nvidia, reports earnings after the bell today. Good results? The entire market rallies. Bad news? Nvidia's big enough to drag everything down with it like a financial black hole. No pressure, Jensen.

TRADING SUCCESS

🤑 Wednesday Motivation

🚀 Pre-Market Fuel

1. 📉 The S&P 500’s worst-performing stock of 2026.

2. 🏘️ Google searches for “can’t sell house” are soaring.

3. 🇨🇳 China is buying an insane amount of gold.

4. 😬 Cracks are showing in US private credit.

5. 🇨🇦 Canadian housing is in trouble.

🍪 Munchy Memes

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