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☕️ GM Munchers! I thought I'd seen volatility after telling my wife her "quick Target run" cost $347. After watching the market yesterday, I realized I hadn't seen anything yet.

On today’s menu:

• 📉 All 2026 Gains Are Gone

• 🇺🇸 The Sell America Trade Is Working

• 📺️ Netflix Reports Earnings, Hits 325M Subscribers

• 🚀 This Stock Is Up 86% In 2026

• 😭 Bitcoin Has Dropped 9% in 48 Hours

Yesterday’s numbers:

BREAKING NEWS

📉 Greenland Drama Breaks Markets

The S&P 500 just wiped out every single gain from 2026 in yesterday's worst selloff since October. Year-to-date performance? Flat. Zero. Nada.

What triggered the carnage? Trump's Greenland obsession reaching new levels of unhinged. He posted a photo on Truth Social of himself raising the US flag in Greenland—because apparently subtlety died somewhere around 2015. Then he threatened France with 200% tariffs after Macron declined to join his "Board of Peace" (yes, that's a real thing).

When a reporter asked "how far are you willing to go to acquire Greenland," Trump's response? "You'll find out."

Translation: Maximum uncertainty. And if there's one thing markets despise more than bad news, it's not knowing what fresh chaos drops next.

The Munch Take: We've been holding cash for months waiting for exactly this kind of opportunity. We didn't pull the trigger yesterday, but our watchlist is ready: Coinbase (down 5.5%), Google (our January pick), Nasdaq index, and Bitcoin (down 3.5%). If you're fully deployed right now with no dry powder, you're learning a painful lesson about keeping ammunition for moments like this. Markets hate uncertainty—but we love discounts. Stay patient.

🚀 The "Sell America" Trade Goes Parabolic

For the first time in history, silver blasted through $95/oz. Meanwhile, gold surged above $4,750/oz, adding $15 trillion in market cap over 12 months. Let that sink in.

What's driving this? The "sell America" trade is working. The US Dollar Index cratered below its 200-day moving average, dropping almost 1%—the largest single-day plunge since Trump's April "Liberation Day" tariff rollout. The euro climbed 0.6% against the dollar.

Here's the irony: Everyone's panicking about US instability and fleeing to precious metals like it's 2008. But let's be real—what kind of growth or innovation is coming from Canada, Europe, or Australia right now? Not much. The US, even with all this Greenland drama and tariff theater, is still where actual growth happens.

The Munch Take: We're super bullish long-term. This fear is overdone. Yes, the dollar's getting hammered. Yes, precious metals are mooning. But when the dust settles, capital flows back to where innovation lives—and that's not Europe. If this carnage continues, great quality companies will be trading at a discount that makes the margin of safety irresistible.

This is classic "buy fear, sell greed." The herd's running to safety. Smart money waits for the panic to subside, then positions for the inevitable snapback.

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STOCKS

😬 Netflix Beats Earnings, Stock Still Tanks 5%

Netflix reported 325 million global subscribers and barely beat Wall Street estimates. Ad revenue grew 2.5x to over $1.5 billion. Sounds good, right?

The market's response? Stock down 5% in after-hours trading.

Why? Because "barely beating" isn't exciting when you're already down 30% over six months and flirting with acquiring Warner Bros for $70 billion in debt. Investors wanted a blowout quarter that justified the streaming giant's valuation. Instead, they got "fine, but not inspiring."

The Munch Take: Netflix is in no-man's land—too expensive to be a value play, too slow-growing to be a momentum stock. We're watching, but not buying. If this continues bleeding toward $60-$70, it might get interesting. For now? Pass. There are better opportunities in this market chaos than chasing a falling knife in streaming.

MARKET OVERVIEW

🍿 Tasty Movers & Shakers

🧑‍✈️ $UAL United Airlines is off to a strong takeoff in 2026 (pun intended). They reported expectations for record earnings this year, fueled by strong travel demand and premium seat sales. Business travel is back because nothing says "corporate discipline" like booking first class for PowerPoint presentations.

🏦 $IBKR Interactive Brokers crushed earnings with 18% revenue growth. Shares still dropped 1.3% after-hours because investors nitpicked the report like archaeologists hunting for bad news. Beat the number, still get punished. Classic Wall Street.

🤑 $DJT Bloomberg reports Trump's family has stacked $1.4 billion in crypto—20% of their $6.8 billion net worth. While the world debated whether Bitcoin was digital gold or a scam, they were loading bags. Must be nice.

😥 $SNDK SanDisk = the one that got away. It’s up 81% in 2026 alone. That's the update. Just a reminder that someone bought this in January and is currently shopping for lakefront property while we're analyzing charts. Pain.

🚀 $INTC While everything bled yesterday, Intel climbed 3.41% after dual upgrades from HSBC and Seaport. Analysts decided semiconductor chaos is priced in. We'll see if this ages well or becomes another "analysts were wrong" case study.

🍑 $LULU Lululemon dropped 6.49% after pulling a workout line because the clothing was see-through. Premium athleisure meets accidental public indecency. The stock's getting destroyed faster than their quality control reputation.

TRADING SUCCESS

🤑 Wednesday Motivation

🚀 Pre-Market Fuel

1. 😭 Bitcoin has dropped 9% in 48 hours.

2. 🤯 He just bought $2.13 billion of Bitcoin.

3. 🇬🇱 Greenland’s prime minister warns his citizens.

4. 💰️ Trump said citizens are getting $2,000 tariff checks.

5. 🇨🇦 Canadian real estate agents are hurting.

🍪 Munchy Memes

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