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☕️ GM Munchers! My wife hauled an old VHS player home from her parents. I called it junk, but she bought us a movie for $2 yesterday, and I’m starting to think she’s just adjusting our lifestyle to match our portfolio.

On today’s menu:

• 💼 Microsoft Just Offered 60,000 Workers The Exit

• 🇧🇷 Brazil’s Market Just Had A Historic Meltdown

• 🚗 Tesla Gets Upgraded & Climbs 5%

• 🤖 Anthropic Just Filed To Go Public

• 🤑 Nvidia Wants To Buy $5 billion Of What Stock?

Yesterday’s numbers:

BREAKING NEWS

💼 Microsoft Just Offered 60,000 Workers The Exit

Microsoft is making a massive move to reshape its workforce for the AI era. According to Bloomberg, the tech giant is offering buyouts to roughly 60,000 employees as part of a push to cut costs. A buyout is essentially the company handing workers a severance-style package and saying, “If you’re thinking about leaving, now’s your chance, with support.” And this isn’t just entry-level staff getting the offer.

Here’s the part that stands out. The buyouts are open to employees at the vice president level and below, on select teams in the US, Canada, India, and the UK. That means plenty of fairly senior, well-paid people are in the mix, not just junior workers. Divisions like Xbox, Windows, and Copilot are participating, while some teams like data centers and sales are excluded. For context, 60,000 is the number eligible, not the number guaranteed to leave, but it’s still a huge chunk of Microsoft’s roughly 223,000 employees.

And how did the market react? In classic capitalism fashion, the stock rallied about 1.5% on the news. Wall Street loves it when a company trims costs, even when those costs are people’s jobs. Lower expenses often mean fatter profits, and investors cheer that every time.

• 🤖 It’s all about AI. Microsoft is pouring billions into artificial intelligence, and shedding workers helps fund that spending. The company is reshaping its workforce for a new era.

• 🏢 It fits a brutal trend. This continues a wave of 2026 cuts across big names. Amazon, Netflix, eBay, and American Express have all trimmed staff this year, many citing AI and cost discipline.

• 📈 A solid, not spectacular year. Microsoft stock is up roughly 12.5% so far in 2026. That’s a perfectly good year, but it’s hardly earth-shattering next to some of the explosive AI moves we’ve watched elsewhere.

The Munch Take: Let’s be honest about what this really is. The uncomfortable truth of this AI era is that the same technology promising incredible productivity is also letting giant companies run leaner with fewer people. Microsoft framing this as a “voluntary” offer softens the blow, but the direction is unmistakable: do more with less, and funnel the savings into the AI arms race. For the company and its shareholders, it’s ruthless efficiency, which is exactly why the stock popped. For workers, it’s a nervous sign of where things are heading. As investors, our job is to watch this trend clearly, not cheer it or fear it. The companies mastering AI while controlling costs are positioning themselves to win, and the ones that can’t will struggle. Microsoft remains a world-class business, just not the flashiest AI name out there right now. Keep your eyes on how this spending-and-cutting balance plays out, because it’s the whole story in this market.

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STORY OF THE DAY

🇧🇷 Brazil’s Market Just Had A Historic Meltdown

Here’s a wild one from south of the equator. Brazil’s stock market absolutely collapsed after President Lula won a surprise re-election, and the numbers are staggering. The country’s main index plunged around 17% in a single session, its worst daily drop since 1998, and the selloff was so violent that officials halted trading entirely to let everyone catch their breath. The Brazilian currency, the real, cratered roughly 10% against the dollar, one of its ugliest days ever. For US investors watching, the Brazil ETF that tracks these stocks fell nearly 30%.

So why the carnage? It’s all about expectations. Earlier this month, Lula’s more business-friendly rival had surged in the polls, and investors piled into Brazilian assets betting he’d win and bring fiscal discipline and deregulation. When Lula pulled off an upset victory instead, all those bets unraveled at once. Markets fear his government means higher taxes, more spending, and heavier regulation, so the money rushed for the exits.

• 🛢️ Petrobras got hammered. The state-controlled oil giant sank around 14%, as investors worry about increased government meddling in the company.

• 💳 Nu Holdings cratered. The digital bank behind Nubank dropped nearly 17%, hit by fears of tax hikes and tougher rules on Brazilian lenders.

• 🌎 It was contained to Brazil. While Brazilian assets collapsed, the broader US market barely flinched, confirming this was a Brazil-specific political shock, not a global one.

The Munch Take: Now, you’re probably not trading Brazilian stocks, and that’s fine, but this is a fascinating lesson worth tucking away. It’s a textbook example of “political risk,” the danger that an election or policy change can reprice an entire market overnight. It also shows the brutal math of expectations: the market didn’t crash because Brazil’s economy suddenly broke, it crashed because investors bet one way and reality went the other. When everyone crowds onto the same side of a trade, the unwind is savage when they’re wrong. That’s a principle that applies everywhere, not just in São Paulo. Interesting stuff, even from the sidelines.

MARKET OVERVIEW

🍟 Tasty Movers & Shakers

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🚗 $TSLA Tesla climbed 5.21% after Barclays upgraded it to Buy, pointing to potential upside from a SpaceX merger and rising demand for its Full Self-Driving tech.

✈️ $LMT Lockheed Martin rallied 5.13% on a Morgan Stanley upgrade to Overweight, citing less uncertainty around its F-35 program and growing missile demand. With conflicts flaring worldwide, defense names are back in favour.

🛬 $JBLU JetBlue cratered 9.71% after reports its senior creditors hired a restructuring adviser. When the lenders start calling in the restructuring experts, it’s rarely a good sign for the stock.

🏪 $DG Dollar General slipped 3.22% after the FTC and 20 states sued it for allegedly mislabeling prices and routinely overcharging shoppers. Nothing dents a discount brand quite like being accused of nickel-and-diming the people it claims to serve.

📊 $FICO Fair Isaac tumbled 13.15% after its move to freeze mortgage credit-scoring fees at $10 drew criticism from Wall Street analysts. Turns out keeping prices flat can spook investors just as much as hiking them.

STOCK OF THE DAY

🤖 Anthropic Just Filed To Go Public

It’s official. Anthropic, the company behind the Claude AI chatbot, filed the paperwork to go public, and it plans to list on the Nasdaq under the ticker ANT. This is one of the most anticipated debuts in years, a chance for regular investors to finally own a piece of a company at the heart of the AI boom. But the numbers inside the filing are something to behold, one of them jaw-dropping in the best way, the other in the scariest way.

• 🚀 Revenue is exploding. Anthropic pulled in $16.29 billion in just the first half of 2026, up a staggering 1,300% from roughly $1 billion a year earlier. Growth like that is almost unheard of.

• 💸 The loss is enormous. The company reported a net loss of $80.75 billion over those same six months, a number so large it dwarfs the revenue many times over.

• 🧮 But the loss is mostly fake. Here’s the key: about $72 billion of that loss is a non-cash accounting charge tied to the rising value of convertible notes. The actual loss from running the business was under $700 million. No real money walked out the door.

So when do we actually see it?

The filing kicks off the process, but it does not set a hard date. Based on the timeline, the public debut is expected around the middle of November. Goldman Sachs and Morgan Stanley are leading a massive group of 22 banks on the deal, which tells you how big this listing is shaping up to be.

The Munch Take: Don’t let that $80 billion loss scare you off without understanding it. On paper it looks apocalyptic, but strip out the accounting noise and you have a business growing revenue faster than almost anything in history. The real debate is whether that growth can outrun the colossal spending on AI. This is one to watch closely as the mid-November debut approaches, because how it trades will tell us a lot about how much faith the market really has in the whole AI story.

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Pre-Market Fuel

1. 👀 Stay immune from inflation with this AI secret (Ad)

2. 🤑 Nvidia wants to buy $5 billion of what stock?

3. 😬 Is the AI bubble beginning to pop?

4. 🛒 DoorDash might buy Instacart.

🍪 Munchy Memes

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