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☕️ GM Munchers! Happy Tuesday to everyone who woke up, checked Bitcoin, and immediately went back to bed hoping it was all just a bad dream—spoiler alert: it wasn't.

On today’s menu:

• 📉 PayPal Wants a Bank License, Bitcoin Bleeds

• 😂 New High For Tesla & Ford Quits EVs

• 🤯 Is The Stock Market About To Be Open 24/7?

• 👀 Another Update From My Forex Funds

• 😬 The Fed Is Pumping Money Into The Banking System

Yesterday’s numbers:

BREAKING NEWS

🏦 PayPal Just Applied to Become a Bank (Because Why Not?)

The big news? PayPal's trying to become a bank. A real, actual bank.

Why? Because their stock is down 30% this year and they're basically throwing spaghetti at the wall to see what sticks. At this point, we wouldn't be shocked if they announced a line of PayPal-branded toasters.

What They Actually Want:

PayPal doesn't want to become the next Chase or Bank of America. They just want to stop paying other banks to do stuff they could do themselves—like giving loans to small businesses and holding people's money.

Since 2013, they've already loaned out $30 billion to over 420,000 businesses. A bank license just means they can keep all that money instead of sharing with partner banks. It's like cutting out the middleman, except the middleman is a bank and there's paperwork. Lots of paperwork.

Oh, and there's crypto stuff too. PayPal has a stablecoin called PYUSD (yes, really), and being a bank makes dealing with crypto less of a regulatory headache.

Why Anyone Cares:

Trump's team is being nice to fintech companies trying to become banks right now. Regulators recently said "sure, why not" to other crypto companies wanting bank licenses, so PayPal's timing is actually pretty smart.

The Munch Take:

Here's the problem: PayPal doesn't know what it wants to be when it grows up.

Are they the thing you use to Venmo your buddy for pizza? A crypto company? A lender? A bank? At this point, PayPal's having an identity crisis bigger than a teenager trying to pick a college major.

The market's noticed—that 30% drop isn't an accident. Don't expect this bank news to magically fix everything overnight. It's more like rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic, except the Titanic is also trying to sell you a credit card.

😥 Bitcoin Crashes 4% Just When Things Looked Good

Bitcoin dropped to $85,000-$86,000 today, down over 30% from October highs above $126,000. Last week's $90K rally felt like recovery. It wasn't.

What Drove It:

• Chart stuff got messy: Traders were filling a gap in the futures market (think of it like closing a hole), which made a bunch of automatic sell orders trigger. It's like dominoes—one falls, then they all fall.

  Too many people borrowed too much money: When Bitcoin dropped, $135 million worth of bets got wiped out in just one hour. Over 24 hours? Over $500 million vanished. Bitcoin got hit the hardest.

  One big seller made it worse: A company called Wintermute sold $1.5 billion worth of Bitcoin when there weren't many buyers. It's like trying to sell a ton of concert tickets when nobody's buying—prices crash. People online are screaming "manipulation!"

  What happens next? Prediction markets say there's a 39% chance Bitcoin falls below $80K by year's end. If it does, we're buying more. If it doesn't, we're keeping what we have—and we're only down 5%.

The Munch Take:

If this scares you, Bitcoin isn’t for you. If it breaks $80K, we’ll be deploying more capital. Until then, we’ll just keep checking every 5 minutes.

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STOCKS

🚗 Ford Admits EVs Were a $19.5B Mistake

Ford announced a $19.5 billion EV writedown and stopped electric F-150 production. The stock—up 40% YTD—jumped after-hours because admitting failure is apparently bullish now.

Ford CEO Jim Farley:

"Instead of plowing billions into large EVs that will never make money, we are pivoting."

Translation? Burning stuff is fun, and customers agree.

The Munch Take:

So much for "all-electric by 2030" virtue signaling. Ford realized nobody wants $80K electric trucks with dead batteries after towing, and pulled the plug.

Tesla won again—not by convincing everyone EVs are the future, but by being the only EV company not hemorrhaging cash.

Trade idea: Ford's momentum stays strong prioritizing profit over PR. The market loves it.

MARKET OVERVIEW

🍿 Tasty Movers & Shakers

🚗 $TSLA 
Tesla hit a new all-time high of $475 after Elon confirmed Robotaxi tests in Austin with zero humans on board. $UBER ( ▼ 1.5% ) and $LYFT ( ▲ 0.42% ) fell big time on the news.

📱 $AAPL 
Apple dropped 1.5%—billions evaporating for literally no reason except bad vibes. Sometimes the market wakes up and decides your $3 trillion valuation needs trimming just because. Welcome to 2025.

🚀 $MSTR 
Bitcoin had an ugly day, but Michael Saylor keeps buying like it's a sport. MicroStrategy dropped another $980 million, average cost now $74,972 per coin. They're barely in the green—one bad week from explaining why "diamond hands" was genius strategy.

💻️ $INTC 
Intel popped 1% pre-market on news of a $1.6 billion SambaNova acquisition, then immediately gave it all back, finishing down 1%. Classic Intel—tease hope, deliver disappointment, repeat.

🤖 $IRBT
iRobot filed for bankruptcy after being acquired by a Chinese supplier. The robot vacuum pioneer just got absorbed by the supply chain. End of an era—turns out even futuristic companies aren't immune to getting financially Roomba'd into oblivion.

TRADING SUCCESS

🤑 Tuesday Motivation

🚀 Pre-Market Fuel

1. 🤯 Is the stock market about to be open 24/7?

2. 👀 Another update from My Forex Funds.

3. 😬 The Fed is pumping money into the banking system.

4. ❌ Trump is suing the BBC for $5 billion.

5. 😥 After 88 years, Volkswagen is closing a German factory.

🍪 Munchy Memes

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