The Backdoor Into Elon's Sept 21 Launch

Dear Reader,

The next Apple may already exist.

Insider sources say Elon has spent two years building a secret device inside Tesla's facilities.

He claims it will be "10x bigger than the largest product in history."

There's just one problem.

The company behind it is private.

Unless you know Elon personally, you can't buy a single share.

That was true until our research team found something...

...three public ticker symbols sitting directly in the launch supply chain.

👉️ Click here and I'll show you all 3 tickers, free of charge.

☕️ GM Munchers! September walked in and immediately reminded everyone why it's the market's least favourite month. Let's break down exactly what happened.

On today’s menu:

•  📉 Bond Yields, Bombs & $95 Oil

• 📚 Rich Dad, Poor Dad, $1.2 Billion In Debt Dad

• 🌻 Why Wall Street Hates September

• 📷️ Somebody Is Buying GoPro

• 🤯 How Much The New Apple CEO Is Getting Paid

Yesterday’s numbers:

BREAKING NEWS

📉 Bond Yields, Bombs, And $95 Oil Sent Stocks Sliding

Stocks fell for the third straight day yesterday, and this time there were real reasons behind it, not just September jitters. The U.S. launched a fresh round of airstrikes Tuesday on sites tied to Iran's Revolutionary Guard. Oil climbed back above $95 a barrel on the news, and that single fact set off a chain reaction across the entire market.

Yes, oil can be boring but here’s why it matters so much. Expensive oil makes almost everything cost more, from gas to shipped goods and that fuels inflation. When investors expect more inflation, they dump bonds, since inflation eats away at the fixed payments bonds provide. That selling pushed the 10-year Treasury yield to about 4.8%, its highest since January 2025. Remember, bond prices and yields move in opposite directions, so falling bond prices mean rising yields.

• 🌍 This isn't just a U.S. problem. Japan's 10-year yield briefly touched 3% for the first time in 30 years, and Germany's hit a 2011 high as the bond selloff went global.

• 🛢️ The Strait of Hormuz is still choked off. Roughly 20% of the world's oil normally passes through that waterway and it still remains largely shut.

• 🏦 Rate hike odds keep climbing. Traders now see about a 66% chance the Fed raises rates at its September 16 meeting which is bad news for stocks, especially tech.

The Munch Take: Higher oil, higher yields, and a hotter Iran conflict all landed in the same 48 hours, which is a lot for any market to swallow at once. Here's the silver lining nobody mentions, though: those same sky-high yields mean relatively safe Treasuries now pay 4% to 5%, the best risk-free return in years. We're not panicking over a rough few days. If this keeps knocking quality names down, we treat it as a shopping list, not a reason to run.

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CHART OF THE DAY

📚 Rich Dad, Poor Dad, $1.2 Billion In Debt Dad

Robert Kiyosaki, the man who taught millions of people how to think about money through his book Rich Dad Poor Dad, is now happily bragging about being $1.2 billion in debt. His logic, which he's stated for years, is that he borrows money to buy assets like real estate and precious metals, and famously says "if I go bust, the bank goes bust, not my problem."

Here's the honest context most headlines skip. Kiyosaki doesn't personally owe $1.2 billion. According to an August 2026 Vanity Fair profile, that debt is spread across a group of real estate investors tied to roughly 1,500 apartment units, and his personal share is reportedly much smaller. So the scary billion-dollar number is more marketing than meltdown.

And the marketing is the real story here. The book itself is genuinely good, and its core lesson holds up: spend less than you earn, and understand the difference between assets and liabilities. The problem is Kiyosaki the pundit. He has called for the biggest crash in world history almost every single week for the last 10 to 15 years, and a broken clock has better odds than his track record.

The Munch Take: We wouldn't take a single drop of his actual market timing advice. Predicting a crash every week isn't analysis, it's a personality. The funny part is that his own book preaches spending less than you make, while he turns a giant debt pile into a headline to stay relevant. Read the book, skip the crash predictions, and definitely don't build your portfolio around a guy whose whole brand is yelling "the end is near" into a camera on repeat.

MARKET OVERVIEW

🍿 Tasty Movers & Shakers

💰️ Free Report: The midterm rotation points to these 5 stocks (via Good Morning Alerts)

🍎 $AAPL Apple rose 2.61% as John Ternus stepped into the CEO chair for his first day, officially taking the baton from Tim Cook after a 15-year run. A smooth handoff at the top was exactly what shareholders wanted to see.

⚡ $FERV Fervo Energy jumped 28.41% after landing a deal to feed Google roughly 400 megawatts of geothermal power from its Utah project. When Big Tech comes knocking for clean energy, the supplier's stock tends to light up.

📷 $GPRO GoPro rocketed 40.38% on news that Starman Optical is buying the company for $285 million. A takeout offer is the kind of jolt this camera maker has been waiting years for.

🦉 $DUOL Duolingo climbed 7.02% after Evercore ISI upgraded it, betting on a rebound in user growth. Guess they haven't heard that I haven't practiced my German in over 6 months.

💻 $DELL Dell fell 6.8% heading into its earnings report, with expectations sitting sky-high after the stock's huge run this year. Big rallies raise the bar, and nervous investors got out ahead of the number.

BIG PICTURE

📉 Why Wall Street Quietly Dreads September

Here's a spooky little secret the market doesn't advertise. September is historically the worst month of the year for stocks. Since 1950, the S&P 500 has fallen an average of 0.7% in September. The Dow has dropped about 0.8% over that same stretch, and the Nasdaq has sunk roughly 0.9% every September since 1971.

The scariest stat is the batting average. September has delivered positive returns for the S&P 500 only about 45% of the time, making it the only month besides February that finishes negative on average. In other words, more Septembers end red than green, year after year after year.

• 🏖️ The vacation theory: The "sell in May and go away" crowd comes back from summer, starts paying attention again, and sometimes doesn't like what they see.

• 📊 The window-dressing theory: Fund managers start eyeing their yearly profit and loss and reshuffle their holdings ahead of year-end.

• 📉 The bond overhang: Add in this year's ongoing bond market drama and rising rate-hike fears, and the usual September gloom has extra company.

The Munch Take: None of this means you should panic or sell everything and hide until October. Seasonal patterns are tendencies, not guarantees, and plenty of Septembers have finished green. If anything, we treat a weak, jumpy month as a shopping season, not a reason to run. History says expect some turbulence. It never said the plane crashes.

🚀 Pre-Market Fuel

1. 👀 Don’t buy an ETF before you read this (Ad)

2. 🤯 This is how much the new CEO of Apple is getting paid.

3. 🪥 Dyson just launched a toothbrush.

4. ❗️ Japan’s bond market is in trouble.

🍪 Munchy Memes

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