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📉 Weird Jobs Report
Pip Munch
January 12, 2026
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☕️ GM Munchers! Told my wife Trump's capping credit card rates at 10% to help Americans save money. She said "Perfect timing—I've been eyeing those $800 boots." I'm not sure we attended the same economics class. Actually, I'm not sure she attended any economics class.
On today’s menu:
📉 Jobs Report & Credit Cards
⚖️ Tariff Rules & Zuck Wants Power
😏 Victoria’s Secret Stock = Up 230%
📹️ How To Get Your First Prop Firm Payout In 2026
⏰ Another Government Shutdown Is Looming
Friday’s numbers:
S&P 500 | 6,966 | +0.65% |
Nasdaq | 23,702 | +0.95% |
Dow Jones | 49,504 | +0.48% |
Bitcoin | $90,500 | -0.02% |
BREAKING NEWS
📉 Jobs Report: Weak Hiring, Strong Headline, Trump Leaks Data
The December jobs report dropped on Friday. It came in at 50,000 —missing the 73,000 forecast badly. The twist? Unemployment dropped to 4.4%, lower than the expectation of 4.5%.
If that wasn’t confusing enough, Trump leaked the numbers early on Truth Social Thursday night, claiming the private sector added 654,000 jobs in 2025. Does this violate federal policy? Yes. Is it wildly entertaining? Also yes.
Why markets care: This print puts us in a weird position. Weak hiring + lower unemployment = confusing signals. When you have both good news and bad news, which one do you focus on?
The Fed is now officially stuck. They can’t cut rates (unemployment is falling) but they can’t be hawkish since hiring is slowing.
The Munch Take: The labour market's not breaking—it's stuck. For now, this killed rate cut hopes and keeps uncertainty high.
💳 Trump Caps Credit Cards at 10%: Populism Meets Economics
On Friday, Trump called for a one-year 10% cap on credit card rates starting on Jan 20.
At face value, this sounds pretty cool. But when you think about it a bit more deeply, it might not be as great as it sounds.
Instead of listening to our take, let’s see what billionaire Bill Ackman had to say:
"This will force millions to have cards cancelled as companies can't price subprime risk. Consumers will turn to loan sharks charging multiples of 20%."
Why markets care: If this actually happens, consumers might start spending more which is good for the economy. Or, risky borrowers will just get cut off entirely. For credit card companies like American Express and Visa? Their profits will be destroyed.
The Munch Take: Let capitalism do its thing. Don’t like the high rates? Stop spending more money than you make. Simple. We’ll be watching credit stocks closely and if they dip on the news, we just might dip our toes. $AXP ( ▼ 0.44% ) is our favourite.
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CRYPTO
⚖️ Supreme Court Delays Tariff Ruling, Bitcoin Explodes
The Supreme Court pushed the tariff decision from Friday to January 14th. Bitcoin immediately pumped $2,100 in 45 minutes.
Why markets care: Delay = uncertainty extends. Traders betting tariffs survive longer positioned accordingly. Bitcoin rallied because the risk-off trade temporarily paused.
The Munch Take: There’s still a high chance that the Court deems the tariffs illegal, which creates a ton of headaches and uncertainty. Does the government have to pay back the tariffs collected? Will the ruling get challenged? Is there a workaround? Nobody knows. Our bet? The can will just get kicked down the road again.
MARKET OVERVIEW
🍿 Tasty Movers & Shakers
$VSCO – Victoria's Secret is up 230% since bringing back their Fashion Show. Turns out people wanted the angels back, not whatever woke pivot the company tried before. Did we catch this move? Absolutely not. Will we watch the Fashion Show? Obviously. For research purposes. Our wives believe us.
$INTC – Intel ripped 10.8% after Trump praised CEO Lip-Bu Tan following their meeting. Nothing screams "stable market fundamentals" quite like stocks moving double digits based on presidential compliments. We're living in the timeline where a Truth Social post matters more than earnings.
$CGON – CG Oncology soared 29% after accelerating their Phase 3 bladder cancer trial timeline. Actual medical breakthroughs still move stocks. Refreshing to see biotech rally on science instead of whatever Elon tweeted.
$WMT – Walmart and Google teaming up so Gemini (Google's ChatGPT, for those living under a rock) can do your shopping. Soon you'll be able to tell an AI "buy groceries" and it'll spend $300 on things you didn't need. Finally, technology replicating the shopping experience of bringing your spouse to Costco.
STOCKS
☢️ Zuck Goes Nuclear: When AI Needs Atomic Power
Meta partnered with Vistra, Oklo, and TerraPower (Bill Gates' startup) to power AI data centers with nuclear energy.
The scoreboard:
Vistra: +10.53%
Oklo (Sam Altman-backed): +7.9%
Why this matters: AI data centers are energy hogs. Meta's Prometheus supercluster in Ohio needs gigawatts. Nuclear's the only scalable solution. Google, Amazon, Microsoft all doing the same.
The Munch Take: Nuclear renaissance is real. AI growth requires energy infrastructure traditional grids can't provide. Small modular reactors are the play. Watch uranium miners and nuclear tech stocks—this trend's multi-year.
TRADING SUCCESS
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🚀 Pre-Market Fuel
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