☕️ GM Munchers! My trading account isn’t the only thing falling apart this week — my wife just told me I load the dishwasher “like a man without a soul.”

On today’s menu:

• 📉 Everything’s Crashing... Except Gold

• ⏳ Last chance: Final day to get Instant Funding + 20% off

• 📆 Your Weekly Trading Guide

• 🩳 Lululemon’s Stock Collapses

• 😬 How The Biggest Stocks Have Performed In 2025

MARKET OVERVIEW

📉 Everything’s Falling... Except Gold

The markets on Friday? Absolutely cooked.

If you were long stocks, oil, or USD… condolences. If you were long gold? You finally got to feel like the main character.

Here’s the carnage breakdown:

📉 S&P 500: -2.0%
💥 USD/JPY: -125 pips
🛢️ WTI Crude: Down to $69.08
📉 10-year yield: Down 12 bps to 4.25%

And then…

🥇 Gold: UP $28 to $3,084

Like your one friend who eats fast food every day and somehow still has abs — gold is defying gravity.

🤯 What Happened?

Markets got slapped from all sides:

• PCE came in hot at +2.8% y/y vs +2.7% expected — not terrible, but enough to keep the “no cuts for you” narrative alive.

• Consumer sentiment (UMich): weaker than expected at 57.0. Apparently, no one’s in the mood to buy another Peloton.

• Tariff drama: Trump said some calming things about Canada. Then added some not-so-calming things about Russia. And then, for good measure, warned Iran of bombing if no nuclear deal is made.

Traders? Spooked.

🗣️ Trump-onomics in Full Effect

Trump made headlines again, saying:

“There will be a 25% tariff on all oil, a 25-50 point tariff on all oil.”

(Yes, he said “on all oil” twice — emphasis matters.)

He also said he’s “very angry” and “pissed off” at Putin, while threatening “bombing” on Iran if they don’t make a deal.

So, in case you’re wondering why safe havens are pumping… there’s your answer.

🥇 Gold Shines

If you’ve been sleeping under a rock and are just now hearing about gold’s historic move, here’s why it’s been on the run:

• Safe-haven demand – With tariffs, trade threats, and Trump turning up the geopolitical heat, investors are panic-buying protection.

• Bullish technicals – Gold smashed through $3,050 like it was a funded trader breaking even.

• Rate cut hopes – A softer dollar is making gold look more attractive globally.

• Central bank buying – Emerging markets are stacking gold like it’s Pokémon cards in 1999.

• Mining M&A – Big merger energy in the gold space is adding even more hype.

Gold is now up 17 record highs this year — and honestly, at this point, it’s performing better than most people’s New Year’s resolutions (remember those?).

What’s next? 🤔 

Read on to see everything that’s happening this week.

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WEEKLY OUTLOOK

📆 Your Weekly Trading Guide

What traders need to know before YOLOing into the week.

This week is packed with landmines, speeches, and more unemployment data than your buddy who "trades full time" but somehow always asks to borrow gas money.

Let’s break it down:

📉 Friday = NFP: The Big One

The main event. The Super Bowl of macro. The monthly Non-Farm Payroll (NFP) report drops Friday, April 4 — and it’s a must-watch.

• Why it matters:
  The Fed is praying for a soft landing, and the jobs data tells us if the plane still has wings.

The forecast?

• Unemployment expected to rise from 4.1% → 4.2%

• Canadian unemployment also ticking up from 6.6% → 6.7%

What to expect:

If unemployment climbs faster than expected, the market could start pricing in rate cuts sooner.

If the labor market stays hot? Expect Powell to give us his best hawkish eyebrow raise.

🧔‍⚖️ Powell Speaks (Friday 11:25am EST)

As if NFP wasn’t spicy enough, Fed Chair Jerome Powell grabs the mic right after.

• Why it matters:
  
  Powell speaking after NFP means he’s either:

  1. Going to calm markets like a dad explaining taxes, or

  2. Drop a hawkish bomb and send risk assets crying.

Be on your toes.

This combo could cause some serious Friday volatility — don’t get caught over-leveraged heading into the weekend.

🇪🇺 Tuesday = Eurozone Snoozefest

European inflation and unemployment reports are out Tuesday.

• Why it matters:
  Honestly… it probably doesn’t.
  The Eurozone is so deep in an economic black hole, even strong numbers might not get much market love.

TLDR: Don’t expect a lot of fireworks — maybe a flicker.

🇦🇺 RBA Rate Decision (Tuesday)

The Reserve Bank of Australia will announce rates Tuesday, with expectations they’ll hold at 4.1%.

• Why it matters:
  Aussie pairs could see a knee-jerk move, but unless the RBA surprises, this is likely a non-event for global markets.

🧠 What Traders Should Know

• The Friday combo (NFP + Powell) is the event to prepare for.

• Expect increased volatility, algo whipsaws, and more fakeouts than a breakout trader’s Twitter thread.

• Gold, USD pairs, and indices will be the main playgrounds.

• This is not the week to “just wing it” — unless you like getting stopped out in 0.5 seconds.

STOCKS

🩳 Lululemon Stock Got Stretched… Then Snapped

Lululemon (LULU) just got body-slammed by the market, dropping 15% after its CEO warned that consumers are pulling back due to economic uncertainty and inflation.

"Consumers are spending less," said CEO Calvin McDonald. "Traffic is slowing across the retail industry."

And the data backs him up — consumer sentiment just hit its lowest level since late 2022.

📉 The Damage

• Stock fell 14.19% to $293.06

• After-hours: $291.60

• Revenue guidance: $11.1B–$11.3B

• EPS guidance: $14.95–$15.15

Even with solid earnings, the vibe shift around spending was enough to tank the stock.

🧵 Tariffs & Supply Chain

LULU is somewhat insulated from Trump’s new 20% tariff on Chinese goods, with just 26% of its fabrics sourced from China.

But trade tension isn’t helping an already shaky consumer.

🧠 For Traders

• Retail’s looking weak

• Sentiment is sinking

• Tariff noise adds pressure

Until inflation cools and shoppers feel better, LULU might stay stuck in the bargain bin.

PROP FIRMS

🤑 Monday Motivation

🚀 Pre-Market Fuel

1. How the biggest stocks have performed in 2025.

2. Japan will officially recognize crypto as a financial asset.

3. Another tax change for Canadians? The leader of the Conservative party says you’ll pay no capital gains tax if you invest in Canadian companies.

4. In just 4 years, $16 trillion has been injected into the economy. Something to think about.

🍪 Munchy Memes

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