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- 📉 Gold Hits $5,000
📉 Gold Hits $5,000
Pip Munch
January 27, 2026
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☕️ GM Munchers! I hope everyone has a great day, unless you're in a location where "winter" means wearing a light sweater. In that case, please accept our bitterly cold regards from those of us whose cars won't start this morning.
On today’s menu:
📉 Gold Hits $5,000 & Canada Retreats
👀 Michael Burry's GameStop Play
😬 UnitedHealth Craters 8%
😏 Nancy Pelosi’s Recent Stock Trades
🇺🇲 US Government Shutdown Odds Hit 75%
Yesterday’s numbers:
S&P 500 | 6,950 | +0.50% |
Nasdaq | 23,601 | +0.43% |
Dow Jones | 49,412 | +0.64% |
Bitcoin | $88,000 | +1.67% |
BREAKING NEWS
📉 The Dollar's Slow-Motion Train Wreck Continues
The US Dollar just hit a 4-month low, breaking through the critical 97.0 support level yesterday and dropping over 0.5% in a single session. For currency markets, that's not a move—that's a statement.
The long-term picture is even uglier: The dollar's down 10% over the past year, and the structural erosion is undeniable. In 2001, the US Dollar accounted for 65% of global foreign currency reserves. Twenty-five years later? Just 40%.
What's happening: When people lose trust in the dollar, they buy gold and silver instead. Gold just hit $5,000 for the first time ever.
Silver also got in on the action, climbing 14% yesterday before completely reversing and erasing $900 billion of market cap in just 90 minutes. If you needed proof that we’ve hit irrational levels in the market, here it is.
The Munch Take: The dollar's decline is a big reason behind the historic run in metals. But yesterday's silver action—gaining $900 billion in market cap only to vaporize it in 90 minutes—proves we're not in rational markets anymore. This is fear-driven, algorithm-fueled chaos.
🚀 Canada Blinks: No China Deal After Trump's 100% Tariff Threat
Prime Minister Carney just announced Canada has no plans to sign a "free trade agreement" with China after Trump threatened 100% tariffs if they made a deal.
The result? USDCAD turned into a literal rollercoaster. The chart looks like someone hooked it up to a lie detector during a murder interrogation—wild swings, zero stability, pure chaos.
Canada's caught in an impossible position: anger China and lose trade opportunities, or anger Trump and face economic annihilation via tariffs. They chose the latter, which is probably the right move when your largest trading partner is threatening to nuke your economy.
The Munch Take: Canada folded faster than a cheap tent in a windstorm. The TACO trade strikes again—Trump threatened apocalypse, Canada capitulated, crisis averted (for now). If you were trading USDCAD through this mess, you either made a fortune or funded someone else's retirement.
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FOREX
👀 Michael Burry's GameStop Play: Meme Stocks Might Be Back
GameStop surged over 8% yesterday after Michael Burry—the guy who predicted the 2008 financial crisis and got played by Christian Bale in a movie—tweeted he's been buying the stock.
The context: GameStop's been flatter than my trading performance during low-volatility weeks. Down 8% over the past year, doing absolutely nothing, collecting dust like a forgotten Blockbuster gift card.
Then Burry speaks, and suddenly retail remembers meme stocks exist.
The Munch Take: Is the meme stock era returning? Maybe. Burry's not some Reddit degenerate—when he buys, there's usually a thesis. But GameStop's business fundamentals haven't magically improved overnight. This is pure sentiment trading. That said, Burry's track record demands respect.
MARKET OVERVIEW
🍿 Tasty Movers & Shakers
🤑 $USAR The US government just dumped over $1 billion into $USAR and the stock launched like a SpaceX rocket fueled by taxpayer money. Nothing says "free market" quite like Uncle Sam picking winners with a giant sack of cash.
⛽️ Natural gas prices exploded +20% yesterday and are now up over 100% in just 5 trading days. That's not a market move—that's a financial natural disaster caught on tape. The recent US winter storm knocked 10% of total production offline while demand surged like everyone suddenly remembered heating exists.
💻️ $MSFT Microsoft announced its Maia 200 AI chip to "reduce reliance on Nvidia"—which is corporate-speak for "we're tired of paying Nvidia's premium prices." MSFT climbed on the news. Nvidia dropped.
🤯 $CHGG Want to see what AI does to unprepared companies? Meet Chegg —down 99.19% from its highs just 5 years ago. Students discovered ChatGPT writes their essays for free instead of paying Chegg's subscription. This isn't a dip to buy—this is a masterclass in disruption.
💰️ $CRWV Nvidia announced a $2 billion investment in CoreWeave, which promptly climbed over 10%. When the AI kingpin writes you a check with that many zeros, the market notices.
STOCKS
🙃 UnitedHealth Craters 8% After Medicare Rate Disappointment
The Trump administration just proposed roughly flat rates for Medicare insurers next year, falling "well short of Wall Street expectations" according to the WSJ.
The damage: UnitedHealth ($UNH) dropped 8% in after-hours trading faster than my motivation to exercise after New Year's.
The Munch Take: We've been watching UNH for months, especially after Buffett bought at around $311/share. We haven't pulled the trigger yet, but this selloff might finally create the entry we've been waiting for.
🚀 Pre-Market Fuel
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