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- 📉 Markets Freak Out (Again)
📉 Markets Freak Out (Again)
Pip Munch
February 13, 2026
Want to make more money from trading? Stop trading your small $500 account. It’s a waste of time. Want to make some real money? You need prop firms.
☕️ GM Munchers! I somehow convinced my wife to go golfing with me on Valentine's Day. I'm either set for the best weekend of my life or sleeping on the couch until March. No in-between.
On today’s menu:
📉 AI Panic 2.0: Markets Freak Out (Again)
🥇 Precious Metals Crash as CPI Looms
🇷🇺 Russia Might Ditch the Ruble for Dollars
📱 Apple Gets in Trouble With the FTC
🏘️ A New Housing Crisis?
Yesterday’s numbers:
S&P 500 | 6,832 | -1.57% |
Nasdaq | 22,597 | -2.03% |
Dow Jones | 49,451 | -1.34% |
Bitcoin | $66,350 | -1.01% |
BREAKING NEWS
📉 AI Panic 2.0: Markets Freak Out (Again)
Yesterday the market woke up, realized it wasn't Friday yet, and had a full-blown existential crisis. This wasn't a slow bleed—this was panic selling across multiple sectors like someone yelled "fire" in a crowded exchange.
The casualties:
Cisco ($CSCO): Crashed 13% after disappointing guidance. When you make networking hardware and everyone thinks AI will automate everything, investors bail faster than you can say "obsolescence."
Financial stocks: Hammered on fears AI will replace wealth managers. Apparently the future is robot advisors instead of guys in oversized slacks explaining diversification.
Real estate bloodbath: CBRE crashed 8%, SL Green dropped 5%. The logic? AI causes mass unemployment → nobody needs office space. Grim, but not irrational.
Why this matters: The market's trapped in a brutal loop—AI spending is either visionary or financial suicide depending on which day you ask. Yesterday, sentiment chose "suicide" and torched everything exposed to automation.
The Munch Take: AI panic is the new tariff panic—shows up biweekly, wrecks a day, vanishes until the next earnings call mentions billions in spending. Is there an AI bubble? Probably. Did it pop? Based on the market's recent bipolar episodes, this is likely just another speed bump before the next manic episode.
🥇 Precious Metals Crater as CPI Looms
Gold and silver didn't just fall yesterday—they faceplanted.
Silver: Down over 11%
Gold: Down over 3%, dropping back below the pivotal $5,000 level
Why the panic? CPI drops this morning. Expected increase: 0.3%. The market's spooked that inflation's stickier than expected, which kills the Fed rate cut dreams everyone's been clinging to like a life raft.
The irony: Wednesday's strong jobs report already crushed March rate cut hopes. But traders are acting like CPI is the final boss battle that determines 2026's monetary policy.
The Munch Take: If you're sitting on the sidelines taking an early weekend, we don't blame you. Our read? The print needs to come in way hotter than 0.3% for real chaos. Otherwise, expect volatility but not Armageddon. (Don't take our word for it—we've been wrong before and will be again.)
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FOREX
🇷🇺 Russia Might Ditch the Ruble for Dollars (And Change Everything)
Here’s something that wasn’t on our 2026 bingo card: Russia is considering moving back to the US Dollar as part of a massive economic partnership with President Trump.
What's on the table:
US-Russia cooperation on fossil fuels
Joint natural gas investments
Offshore oil and critical raw materials partnerships
Windfalls for US energy companies
Russia returning to USD settlement system
Why this is huge: If finalized, this rewrites the global economic playbook. It also dramatically lowers WW3 risk, which—let's be honest—has been weighing on markets more than anyone wants to admit.
The Munch Take: This could be a monster bullish catalyst. Energy stocks, USD strength, and geopolitical stability all get a shot in the arm if this happens. It's not done yet, but if Trump and Putin actually pull this off, markets could rip. File this under "cautiously optimistic but not betting the farm until signatures are dry."
MARKET OVERVIEW
🍿 Tasty Movers & Shakers
📲 $AAPL Apple had its worst day since April after the FTC sent Tim Cook a letter demanding a review of Apple News over alleged conservative bias. Also, their AI Siri update got delayed. Guess we’re still stuck trying to set an alarm, but getting trivia on the Roman Empire instead.
🚗 $RIVN Rivian surged 15% after beating Q4 expectations and guiding for 62,000-67,000 vehicle deliveries in 2026.
🏘️ $ABNB Airbnb grew revenue 12% but missed earnings expectations. The stock climbed 2% anyway. They get rich while we peasants still need to pay a cleaning fee, but also have to take out the trash? Make it make sense.
🥦 $CART Instacart rocketed 14% after crushing revenue expectations and issuing strong guidance. Translation: Everyone's ordering groceries online and living in pajamas full-time now.
Three Nobel Prize Winners expose this once-in-a-generation wealth shift:
AMERICA’S NEXT 1776 MOMENT
IS COMING ON OUR 250th ANNIVERSARY
“It could trigger the greatest transfer of wealth in American history”
STOCKS
💸 Coinbase: A Masterclass in Watching Your Profits Evaporate
Coinbase crashed 7% yesterday, turning our April genius moment (bought at $165, rode to $400+) into a cautionary tale about greed.
Did we take profits? Of course not. We're traders, not people who make rational decisions.
The damage came in waves:
CEO Brian Armstrong unloaded 1.5M+ shares worth $550M—roughly 5% of his stake, but still not the confidence signal shareholders were hoping for.
Then the platform mysteriously went down, preventing buy/sell/transfer right before Q4 earnings. Conspiracy? No. Just terrible timing.
And their after-hours earnings? Brutal.
Revenue tumbled 21% YoY to $1.8B. The company swung from a $1.3B profit last year to a $667M loss as falling token prices killed trading activity. The stock barely moved after-hours—it had already done enough bleeding during the day.
The lesson? Sometimes it's good to take profits. But we're holding long-term, which is trader-speak for "we're too stubborn to admit we should've sold at $400 and are now pretending diamond hands was the plan all along."
🚀 Pre-Market Fuel
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