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☕️ GM Munchers! Pip Munch here, helping you trade smarter, laugh harder, and not get rugged by the news.

On today’s menu:

• 📈 Markets Just Hit Reset — And Traders Are Loving It

• 👀 The Bond Market vs. Trump: Who Blinks First?

• 😍 The Funded Trader Index

• 😬 Microsft Fires 3% of It’s Workforce

• ❌ Is This Prop Firm In Trouble?

Yesterday’s numbers:

BREAKING NEWS

📈 Markets Just Hit Reset — And Traders Are Loving It

Today, the S&P 500 officially clawed back all its 2025 losses.

That’s right—green on the year. The same index that flirted with bear market territory last month just pulled a full U-turn. If you listened to the “this time is different” crowd, feel free to block them across all socials.

Let’s unpack why this rally has legs (for now).

🧯 CPI Cools, Markets Heat Up

April CPI came in at 2.3%, the lowest since February 2021 and slightly below expectations. Core CPI stayed put at 2.8%.

Translation?

Inflation isn’t vanishing, but it’s not spiralling out of control (anymore), either.

For traders, this was a Goldilocks print. Not too hot to spook the Fed, not too cold to scream recession. With Trump’s tariff pause taking some pressure off supply chains, the narrative shifted fast: soft landing hopes are back on the table.

Markets reacted accordingly. Equities ripped, and risk appetite returned with a vengeance.

💥 Winners & Losers: Coinbase Pops, UnitedHealth Flops

Coinbase was the poster child for yesterday’s rally, surging nearly 25% after news broke that it’s joining the S&P 500. Crypto stocks have been riding the Bitcoin wave, and this index inclusion adds even more fuel.

But not every stock joined the celebration. UnitedHealth tumbled almost 20% after CEO Andrew Witty announced his resignation and the company suspended its 2025 forecast.

🧐 What Traders Should Watch Next

The mood right now? Risk-on and justified. ✅ 

As we've been saying for weeks, the tariff drama was always more bark than bite—and today’s price action proves it. With inflation cooling and trade tensions easing, we see no reason to keep hiding in risk-off plays like it’s 2022.

But that doesn’t mean we’re blindly chasing the highs. Our plan?

We’re not FOMOing into a market that's already sprinted. We’re watching for clean pullbacks on the NAS100, GBPJPY, and Bitcoin—names that thrive when sentiment’s this bullish.

Stay patient. Stay sharp. Let the market come to you.

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BONDS

❌ The Bond Market vs. Trump: Who Blinks First?

Forget the latest Netflix drama – the real action is in the bond market, folks.

Here's the deal: Treasury yields are surging faster than my coffee addiction on Monday mornings. The 10-year yield is pricing out rate cuts and giving the Fed a perfect excuse to keep rates higher for longer than my mother-in-law's last visit.

✅ What's Actually Happening:

• Bond yields are climbing like they found the financial equivalent of Red Bull

• Trump's watching nervously – Not wanting borrowing costs to rise

• Every asset class is, or could, feeling the heat

😨 Why Markets Are Freaking Out:

When Treasury yields rise, it's like gravity getting stronger for the entire economy:

• Government gets squeezed – Higher debt servicing costs when the national credit card is already maxed out (Trump’s biggest fear)

• Mortgages & loans get pricier – Housing market already wheezing like me after climbing one flight of stairs

• Companies pay more to borrow – Less cash for stock buybacks and those executive retreats to Fiji

🧠 What Rising Yields Are Really Saying (And Why You Should Care)

When bond yields climb, it’s the market politely screaming: “We don’t like what we see.” Could be fiscal policy, inflation nerves, or just another episode of political chaos — but the message is clear.

Smart traders aren’t ignoring it:

• Currencies: Higher yields boost the dollar… until they don’t.

• Fed Cuts: Rate cut bets? Fading fast as bonds price in more “higher for longer.”

• Equities: High-multiple stocks get hit first (ask my portfolio how that feels).

Bottom line: Bonds might seem boring, but they’re running the show right now. Rising yields ripple through everything — rates, stocks, currencies — like a giant macro mood ring flashing “caution.”

Want to trade smarter? Watch yields. They’ll tell you when the party’s over long before the DJ cuts the music.

TRADING STATS

😍 The Funded Trader Index

With Day 2 of our shiny new Funded Trader Index in the books, here are the juiciest takeaways:

• Win Rate Surge: Funded traders who passed yesterday flexed a 63.42% win rate — up from 55% on Day 1. Not bad for barely breaking a sweat in 5.5 days to pass.

• Best vs. Worst Trades: Both top trades came from XAU/USD, but results? Night and day. One trader bagged $2,668 in 2.25 hours. Another? Managed to torch $4,698 in 19 minutes. (Buddy, risk management called. It’s worried about you.)

This is exactly why we built the Index — real data, real traders, no fluff.

Want to see different stats tomorrow? Hit reply and tell us what alpha you’d love to peek behind the curtain on.

PROP FIRMS

🤑 Wednesday Motivation

🚀 Pre-Market Fuel

1. ❌ Microsoft is firing 3% of its workforce.

2. 😬 Is this prop firm in trouble?

3. 🤣 Palantir’s stock hits a new ATH and still nobody knows what the company does.

4. 🥳 Trading site eToro is going public at $52 a share.

5. 🚀 Robinhood is acquiring WonderFi, a Canadian crypto platform, for $179 million.

6. 🧑‍✈️ Trump’s jumbo jet obsession through the years.

🍪 Munchy Memes

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