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☕️ GM Munchers! It's Friday, which should have me pumped, except I've got a wedding to sit through on Sunday. I'm genuinely torn on what I hate more: small talk at a reception or watching my portfolio bleed. Wish me luck.

On today’s menu:

• 📅 The Jobs Report Everyone's Watching Drops This Morning

• 🇨🇦 The Loonie Is Getting Crushed

• 👟 Nike Just Hit A 13-Year Low & The Bleeding Won't Stop

• 💉 This Pharma Stock Just Crashed 18%

• 🤯 This Is A Crazy Stock Market Stat

Yesterday’s numbers:

BREAKING NEWS

📅 The Jobs Report Everyone's Watching Drops This Morning

Mark the time: 8:30 a.m. ET. That's when the September jobs report, officially called nonfarm payrolls, hits, and it's the single most important data point of the week. This report tells us how many jobs the U.S. economy added last month, and in today's bizarre market, the "good" and "bad" of it are completely flipped.

Here's what economists expect. Forecasters are penciling in about 90,000 new jobs for September, a clear slowdown from August's surprisingly strong 162,000. The unemployment rate is expected to hold steady at 4.1%. A cooling number after August's hot one, basically.

Now here's why it matters so much right now, and it comes down to the Fed.

• 📉 Weak is good (for stocks): A soft jobs number gives the Fed a reason to ease off its rate-hiking campaign, which tends to lift stocks and calm those sky-high bond yields.

• 📈 Strong is bad (for stocks): A hot number above expectations would fuel fresh rate-hike fears, pushing yields even higher and pressuring the market, especially expensive tech names.

• 👀 Watch the revisions and wages too: Past months have seen big revisions, and wage growth matters just as much as the headline, since rising pay can keep inflation sticky.

The Munch Take: Buckle up, because this is a day where one number can swing the whole market in either direction before most people finish their coffee. With the 10-year yield already near 24-year highs, a strong report could make things uncomfortable fast, while a soft one could bring real relief. Our playbook doesn't change for one data point. We're not trading the headline, we're watching how the market digests it. If strong jobs spook stocks and drag quality names lower, that's our shopping cue, not our panic button. Stay calm, keep your list ready, and let the number do its thing.

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They go home. The news doesn't.

Every Friday at 4 PM Eastern, the people running billion dollar accounts on Wall Street physically leave the market.

Fund managers, bank traders, analysts. Gone until Monday.

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Meanwhile, news keeps breaking on hundreds of smaller companies all weekend long, and almost nobody with real institutional money is watching to react to it.

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CHART OF THE DAY

🇨🇦 The Loonie Is Getting Crushed & Oil Can't Save It

Love a good 30% discount? Then pack your bags and head north, because a trip to Canada just became one of the best deals going. The Canadian dollar, affectionately called the loonie, just sank to its weakest level since April 2025, with USD/CAD climbing to about 1.42. In plain terms, one Canadian dollar now buys only around 70 U.S. cents, so your American dollars stretch a whole lot further up there right now.

Here's the puzzle that makes this interesting. Oil has been hovering around $100 a barrel, and Canada is a massive oil exporter, so higher oil should strengthen the loonie. Yet the Canadian dollar keeps falling anyway. What gives?

The answer is that this isn't really about Canada being weak. It's about the U.S. dollar being absurdly strong.

• 📈 Soaring yields are the real driver: The U.S. 10-year Treasury yield has spiked to about 5.36%, its highest in 24 years, and sky-high yields pull global money into the U.S. dollar, pushing the DXY (the index that tracks the greenback) to its highest since April 2025 too.

• ↔️ The yield gap is widening: The difference between U.S. and Canadian bond yields moved sharply against the loonie, giving investors even more reason to hold dollars over loonies.

• 🛢️ Oil's support got overwhelmed: Normally a $100 oil price would prop up the loonie, but the dollar's strength and the yield gap simply steamrolled that effect.

The Munch Take: This is a textbook case of "it's not you, it's me" from the U.S. dollar's perspective. The loonie isn't collapsing because Canada fell apart. It's getting dragged down because the greenback is on an absolute tear, powered by those 24-year-high yields sucking money in from everywhere. For currency traders, the lesson is clear: in this environment, yields are the steering wheel, and even a commodity currency like the loonie can't fight a dollar this strong. For everyone else, well, Canadian road trip season just got a lot more affordable. Watch the yield gap, because that's what actually decides where this pair goes next.

MARKET OVERVIEW

🍿 Tasty Movers & Shakers

🤑 Free Report: Why this single 11-hour window beats grinding through charts all day – free guide + ticker inside. (Via Base Camp Trading)

🎬 $PSKY Paramount Skydance dropped 9.58% even after a judge approved its antitrust settlement, clearing another hurdle for its $81 billion takeover of Warner Bros. Discovery. Winning the legal battle doesn't always mean winning over investors, especially when the price tag is this big.

🧸 $MAT Mattel soared 18.80% on reports that Authentic Brands is weighing a takeover valuing the toymaker at $6 billion or more. Nothing turns a sleepy stock into a rocket like the smell of a buyout.

💻 $IBM IBM rose 2.56% after strong results from Accenture sparked optimism about demand for consulting services. Sometimes a rival's good quarter lifts the whole neighborhood.

⚡ $EFXT Enerflex jumped 11.70% after landing a contract to build generators for a North American data center developer. Another day, another company quietly cashing in on the AI power grab.

🧬 $FHTX Foghorn Therapeutics cratered 18.21% after scrapping a drug partnership with Eli Lilly and announcing plans to cut roughly 40% of its staff. A lost partner plus mass layoffs is about as grim a combo as a biotech can serve up.

STOCK OF THE DAY

👟 Nike Just Hit A 13-Year Low & The Bleeding Won't Stop

The Swoosh keeps swooshing in the wrong direction. $NKE Nike dropped another 6% after its earnings report, sinking to its lowest level since September 2013. Let that sink in: the stock is now down a staggering 82% from its record high, wiping out roughly $230 billion in market value. That's not a slump, that's a full-blown collapse of what was once one of the most beloved brands on the planet.

Here's the frustrating part about the actual report. Nike technically beat on earnings, posting 48 cents a share versus the 43 cents expected. But revenue came up short at $11.21 billion against the $11.32 billion Wall Street wanted, and that's what spooked everyone. When a company this troubled can't even hit a lowered revenue bar, investors lose patience fast.

• 🇨🇳 China is the gaping wound: Revenue in the Greater China market cratered 26%, continuing a brutal, relentless decline in what used to be a key growth engine.

• 📉 Guidance stayed grim: Nike expects full-year revenue to fall by a high-single-digit percentage, so management isn't promising a quick fix.

• 🔄 The turnaround keeps stalling: CEO-led "Win Now" efforts have shown faint signs of life in North America, but it's nowhere near enough to offset the global weakness.

The Munch Take: We've said it before and we'll keep saying it: a cheap stock price is not the same as a cheap company, and Nike is the poster child for that lesson. This is a genuinely world-class brand trading like a falling knife, and the temptation to call the bottom is real. But "it can't go lower" has been wrong for 82% straight. Until China stabilizes and revenue actually turns positive, buying Nike is catching a knife, not finding a bargain. Yes, there's a long-term case that this iconic brand eventually heals, and some analysts think it could double. We're just not interested in guessing when the bleeding stops. Wake us up when the numbers turn, not before.

🚀 Pre-Market Fuel

1. 🥇 The $15 Gold Fund That Pays Up to $1,152/Month (Ad)

2. 🤯 This is a crazy stock market stat.

3. 🚀 Bitcoin hit $85,000 yesterday.

4. 👀 A famous billionaire just bought these stocks.

🍪 Munchy Memes

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