📉 Oh Boy

 

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☕️ GM Munchers! Had plans to watch Beast Games with my wife last night. Instead, I refreshed the Bitcoin chart 147 times and ate an entire sleeve of Oreos. She asked if I was okay. I lied and said yes. We both knew the truth.

On today’s menu:

  • 📉 Tech Stocks Get Absolutely Demolished

  • 🚀 Google Rides In To Save The Day

  • 💰️ Want to make money trading? Use prop firms

  • 😬 This Prop Firm Just Closed Down

  • 🤑 This Hedge Fund Has Already Made $24 billion This Year

Yesterday’s numbers:

S&P 500

6,882

-0.51%

Nasdaq

22,904

-1.51%

Dow Jones

49,240

+0.53%

Bitcoin

$72,900

-4.92%

BREAKING NEWS

📉 Tech Stocks Get Absolutely Demolished

Yesterday was ugly.

The entire market took a beating, but tech stocks got absolutely wrecked. AMD led the carnage with a brutal 17% crash after their Q1 forecast disappointed Wall Street.

Here's the carnage report:

  • AMD: down 17.31%

  • Micron Technology: down 9.55%

  • Broadcom: down 3.83%

  • Oracle: down 5.13%

The nasty crash was enough to drag down the S&P 500 and the Nasdaq.

Why markets care: These tech stocks are massive so when they crash, they drag down the entire market with it. This wasn't about a single catastrophic headline. It's a simple rotation out of tech and AI stocks. When the giants fall, everyone feels it.

The Munch Take: Here's the thing—everybody is freaking out right now. But you know what’s funny? The S&P 500 is like 2% away from all-time highs. It’s laughable how everybody is freaking out. So, see a stock you like at a discount? This is when money gets made, not when everything's hitting all-time highs.

🚀 Google Rides In To Save The Day

With tech bleeding out, the market had one last hope: Google earnings after the close. And they delivered.

Alphabet crushed both top and bottom lines in Q4. The stock dipped initially in after-hours trading, then did a complete 180 and climbed. Here's what they reported:

  • EPS: $2.82 vs $2.63 expected

  • Revenue: $113.83 billion vs $111.43 billion expected (up 18% YoY)

  • Net income: $34.46 billion, up almost 30% compared to last year

  • Google Cloud: $17.66 billion vs $16.18 billion expected (nearly 48% increase YoY)

The AI story is real: Gemini now has over 750 million monthly active users, up from 650 million last quarter.

The catch? Alphabet expects to spend between $175 billion and $185 billion on capex in 2026. If they hit the top end, that's more than double what they spent in 2025.

Why markets care: When the biggest tech company on the planet beats expectations and signals massive AI investment, it gives the entire sector a lifeline. Google's strength shows that AI spending isn't slowing down—it's accelerating.

The Munch Take: This is the earnings report that could stabilize tech after yesterday's bloodbath. Revenue up 18% for a company this size is absurd. The CapEx guidance is massive, but it's bullish for chip makers like Nvidia and AMD long-term. If you were worried about the AI narrative dying, Google just told you it's not.

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MARKET OVERVIEW

🍿 Tasty Movers & Shakers

🏦 $ABNB Citizens Bank upgraded Airbnb's stock, claiming they see 31% upside. Considering the stock is down 35% over the last five years, that upgrade is doing some serious heavy lifting. Good luck with that.

💊 $LLY Eli Lilly crushed Q4 earnings thanks to monster demand for Mounjaro. Turns out nobody went easy on the holiday cookies, and now everyone's panic-buying weight loss drugs. The stock jumped 10.33%. America's relationship with food is Eli Lilly's retirement plan.

🥳 $MGM Recession? What recession? MGM Resorts posted solid earnings and the stock ripped 8.08%. People are still gambling their money away in Vegas, which honestly explains a lot about the current state of consumer spending.

🚗 $UBER Uber's revenue grew 20%, which sounds great until you hear their profit outlook. It's not looking hot. The stock crashed over 5%. Turns out growing revenue while bleeding money doesn't impress Wall Street. Who knew?

📉 $PLTR Palantir had an absolute meltdown yesterday, dropping 13% and wiping out all its post-earnings gains. The company lost about $40 billion in market value in a single day. That's what happens when you're trading at a P/E ratio of 200+. Gravity eventually wins.

🎨 $FIG Remember Figma, the hottest IPO of 2025? The stock is now down 81%—and the 180-day lockup for employees just ended last week. Imagine holding your stock through six months of lockup only to watch it crater the moment you're allowed to sell. Brutal doesn't even cover it.

😬 $ADBE Adobe is down 36% over the last year despite increasing their marketing spend by more than 30% to $1.4 billion in 2025. So they spent an extra $300+ million on ads and the stock still tanked. That's either the worst ROI in history or proof that Photoshop memes aren't a marketing strategy.

CRYPTO

😬 Bitcoin Continues Its Painful Slide

Bitcoin had another rough day, breaking below $72,000—its lowest price in roughly 16 months. It’s now down more than 40% from its October high of $126,000.

The key level to watch: $70,000. There's a 90% chance it breaks below that level based on prediction markets.

Why the selloff? It's pure risk-off sentiment.

  • Geopolitical tensions (Trump's Greenland situation)

  • The partial government shutdown

  • Kevin Warsh's Fed chair nomination has investors rotating out of speculative assets.

  • Large institutional outflows are thinning liquidity—spot Bitcoin ETFs recorded outflows of more than $3 billion in January, roughly $2 billion in December, and about $7 billion in November.

And remember Michael Saylor, the guy who's been buying billions in Bitcoin? His paper loss is now $2 billion. His company, Strategy, dropped another 3% yesterday and is down 63% over the past year.

The Munch Take: We’re going to be sharing a Bitcoin deep-dive soon. The takeaway for now? There’s tons of fear in the market, but this is nothing new for Bitcoin. We continue to buy the dip and will hold long-term. If you’re concerned about inflation and the national debt just continuing to climb, you might want to look into it.

TRADING SUCCESS

🤑 Thursday Motivation

🍪 Munchy Memes

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