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☕️ GM Munchers! The Fed held rates, Iran’s threatening war, and my wife just held up the credit card bill. One of these things might blow up my account.

On today’s menu:

• 📉 Powell Pauses. Trump Pressures. Coinbase Pumps.

• 💸 Your Bank Account vs. The Money Printer

• 🍿 Tasty Movers & Shakers

• 🤔 Is Gold Way Better Than Stocks?

• 📈 Platinum Hits A New ATH

Yesterday’s numbers:

BREAKING NEWS

🧠 The Fed Said Nothing… But Everyone Listened Anyway

No rate cut. No hike. Just vibes.

The Fed held interest rates at 4.25%–4.5%, exactly where they’ve been since December.

But the real tea?

They still expect two cuts later this year, even though inflation’s still elevated and growth is cooling faster than my wife’s enthusiasm when I say “just one more trade.”

Key takeaways:

• Powell’s tone? Cautious optimism.

• GDP growth was revised down to 1.4%.

• Inflation revised up to 3.0%.

• Seven Fed members don’t want any cuts this year. (Powell might need to bring snacks to the next meeting.)

Market reaction?

• Stocks? Slight relief rally.

• Dollar? Flatlining harder than my last scalp trade.

• Bonds? Watching the dot plot like it’s the NFL draft.

Bottom line: No moves yet, but the Fed’s still holding scissors. Watch the July CPI, labor data, and—if Powell blinks—we could get that first cut by fall.

💥 The Israel-Iran Situation Just Got Scarier

If you woke up thinking WW3 wouldn’t trend today… surprise.

Trump claimed he issued Iran an “ultimate ultimatum” (his words), threatened military strikes, and started evacuating Americans from Israel. Iran’s response? “Any military entry will be met with irreparable damage.”

And yeah—markets are watching:

• Oil is flirting with $80.

• Gold's quietly polishing its throne.

• Traders are hedging harder than I do when my wife asks how much I spent on my “risk management course.”

But here’s the thing: The S&P is still holding up.

Why?

Either markets think it’s just noise… or they’re high on hopium again.

Keep eyes on:

• Crude inventories + Strait of Hormuz traffic

• Gold ETF inflows

• Defence stocks and USDJPY

This isn’t just a headline cycle. It’s a fuse. Trade accordingly.

🪙 Coinbase & Circle Explode After Senate Passes Stablecoin Bill

Say hello to the GENIUS Act — Congress’s attempt to finally regulate stablecoins without accidentally outlawing the internet.

The Senate passed the bill yesterday, and crypto markets went absolutely feral:

• $COIN surged over 16%

• Circle (issuer of USDC) ripped +22%

• Your favourite Twitter “macro expert” pretended they called it last week

Why it matters:

• Gives crypto firms legal clarity to issue USD-pegged tokens

• Requires full reserves, monthly audits, and guardrails (aka no more FTX shenanigans)

• Huge W for institutional adoption

If this thing clears the House, Coinbase becomes less a speculative trade—and more like a digital Visa.

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TRADING101

💸 Your Bank Account vs. The Money Printer (Spoiler: You Lost)

If you parked your cash in a U.S. savings account 25 years ago, congrats—you’re now 70% poorer in real terms.

New data shows the national average savings account lost 68.7% of its value since 2000. And checking accounts? Even worse: down 73.7%. That’s what happens when you earn 0.01% while inflation’s doing burpees.

Translation for traders:
📉 Cash is not a neutral position.
📈 Assets beat cash over time—especially ones with asymmetric upside.
⚠️ Risk-off doesn't mean risk-none. Sitting on the sidelines is a trade too.

Yes, timing matters. But over the long haul, the Fed's favorite tool (the printer) is not your friend if you’re just stacking bills in a bank.

My wife says I spend too much time trading. But judging by that chart, “Do nothing and chill” isn’t exactly crushing either.

Moral of the story: Be in the game, or get inflated out of it.

MARKET OVERVIEW

🍿 Tasty Movers & Shakers

$NKE ( ▼ 0.36% ) Nike just delayed its Skims launch with Kim Kardashian. No new date, no explanation—just heartbreak for every teenage girl who had “Kim-core activewear” on their vision board.

$GOOGL ( ▲ 0.24% ) Waymo is “coming” to NYC—except not really. They filed for permits, but the self-driving cars will be manually driven... by humans. So basically, they’re just cars.

$LULU ( ▼ 2.93% ) Lululemon is cutting 150 corporate jobs as the athleisure glow-up continues to fade. Stock’s down ~40% this year. Turns out stretchy pants don’t stretch earnings forever.

$MSFT ( ▲ 0.56% ) Microsoft is also trimming the fat—thousands of layoffs incoming. AI is helping them “boost productivity,” aka fire people with fewer meetings.

$HOOD ( ▼ 0.42% ) Robinhood just made history: first insider buy ever. Director Christopher Payne scooped up $2M worth of stock. Either he knows something… or he’s about to learn the hard way.

PROP FIRMS

🤑 Thursday Motivation

🚀 Pre-Market Fuel

1. 🤔 Is gold way better than stocks?

2. 🇮🇷 Iran largest crypto exchange, Nobitex, was hacked and lost more than $90 million.

3. 😬 Social security may be depleted in less than a decade.

4. 📈 Cash in money market funds just hit a new all-time high.

5. 🥇 Platinum hits a new all-time high.

🍪 Munchy Memes

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