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☕️ GM Munchers! The S&P 500 just hit an all-time record and I am trying to feel good about it. My wife asked me this morning if we were "finally rich yet." I said it's complicated. She said "that's a no." I’ll be drinking an extra coffee to try and lift my spirits.

On today’s menu:

• 🚀 A New Record High. No, Seriously.

• 🚕 Your Uber Driver Is Cooked

• 🚜 Tesla, Snapchat & Caterpillar

• 🤖 A Failing Shoe Company Is Doing What?

• 🇨🇳 China’s Economy Is Doing Well

Yesterday’s numbers:

BREAKING NEWS

🚀 A New Record High. No, Seriously.

Two weeks ago we were writing a daly obituary for the market. War. Sticky inflation. Consumer confidence in the gutter.

Yesterday, the S&P 500 closed at 7,022.95. A brand new all-time record.

Rocky Balboa off the mat. Usain Bolt out of the gates. We're as surprised as anybody. We're not complaining.

Yes, the war is still going. Yes, inflation is not solved. So what's driving this?

1. 🕊️ Iran peace talk optimism. A second round of U.S.-Iran talks is heading to Islamabad. Trump said the conflict is "very close to over." The market is pricing in the end of the war.

2. 📉 Wholesale inflation cooled. PPI came in hot this week at 4% but still below expectations, suggesting high energy costs may not drive prices up as much as feared. Wall Street liked what it saw.

3. 🏦 Bank earnings came through. Bank of America beat expectations with a 21% surge in investment banking fees. Morgan Stanley jumped over 5% on a significant revenue beat.

The Munch Take: The record is real. The foundation is shakier than my golf game. What matters most right now is Iran. Peace talks are not a peace deal. The second round of negotiations in Islamabad is the only thing keeping this rally alive. If those talks fall apart, this rally goes with them. My wife told me to leave it alone and let it grow. I thought she meant our sourdough starter. She meant our portfolio. Whoops.

🚕 Your Uber Driver Is Cooked

$UBER rallied 5.99% yesterday after announcing it’s putting over $10 billion into robotaxis. That is not a typo. Ten billion dollars. Into cars that drive themselves.

Uber built a $140 billion business without ever owning a single car. Now they are buying thousands of them. The plan is simple. Rather than building the technology itself, Uber is buying access to it. Over $7.5 billion goes toward buying robotaxi fleets. Another $2.5 billion goes into equity stakes in the companies building them.

This is great news if you have ever sat in an Uber where the driver had the heat cranked to 85 degrees in January and refused to talk about anything except cryptocurrency. No driver means no awkward chats. No tips. No four-star ratings you feel guilty about.

It is however less great news if you are one of the millions of people who drive for Uber right now.

The Munch Take: This is where tech gets complicated. Robotaxis are cheaper, faster, and do not need bathroom breaks. That is good for the stock. It is not good for the guy who has been driving nights to pay his rent. That tension does not go away just because the stock popped 6%. Still pretty cool that the future is here though.

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MARKET OVERVIEW

🍿 Tasty Movers & Shakers

🚗 $TSLA Tesla ripped over 7% yesterday, adding $100 billion to its market cap. Elon dropped a fresh update on the new AI5 chip. Wall Street ate it up immediately.

✂️ $SNAP Snap soared 7.57% after announcing it’s cutting 1,000 jobs. That is roughly 16% of their entire workforce. Nothing says "we have a plan now" like firing a sixth of your staff and calling it an AI strategy.

🏦 $BAC Bank of America rose 1.82% after posting earnings per share at their highest level in nearly 20 years. The big banks are eating right now.

📈 $MS Morgan Stanley gained 4.52% after a massive earnings beat. Trading revenue came in nearly $1 billion above expectations. Nearly a billion. Above expectations.

👜 Hermès tumbled 7.59% and Kering dropped 4.7% as Middle East tensions weighed on luxury goods sales. I told my wife spending five figures on a handbag was dumb. The market finally agreed with me.

🚜 $CAT Caterpillar fell 3.04% after acquiring Monarch Tractor, an autonomous electric tractor startup. The market heard "acquisition" and immediately wanted out.

STOCK OF THE DAY

🤖 A Failing Shoe Company Is Doing What?

Yesterday, $BIRD was worth $21 million. A shoe company down 99% from its peak. Revenue fell 20% in 2025 and 25% the year before. It closed all its U.S. stores earlier this year.

Yesterday, Allbirds said it is dumping shoes and going all-in on AI. They are calling themselves "NewBird AI" now. The stock ripped over 650%.

Here is what that actually means. They are selling the shoe brand to American Exchange Group for roughly $39 million. Then using $50 million to buy GPUs and rent them out to AI companies. That is the whole plan.

A company that could not sell sneakers thinks it can now compete with $NVDA. Okay.

The Munch Take: This is not a real business plan. This is a Hail Mary from a team down 50 points with two minutes left. We have seen this before. In 2017, Long Island Iced Tea changed its name to Long Blockchain Corp. The stock jumped 275%. Nasdaq kicked them off the exchange the next year. We expect this story to end the same way.

TRADING SUCCESS

🤑 Thursday Motivation

🚀 Pre-Market Fuel

1. ✅ 5 under-the-radar AI stocks (Ad)

2. 🇨🇳 China’s economy is doing well.

3. ✈️ Spirit Airlines might not exist for much longer.

🍪 Munchy Memes

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