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- 📉 Records Wednesday. Reality Yesterday.
📉 Records Wednesday. Reality Yesterday.

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☕️ GM Munchers! It's Friday. The week started with record highs, detoured through a Middle East ceasefire, a meme stock implosion, and oil pushing $100. My wife asked how my week was. I said "fine."
On today’s menu:
📉 Records Wednesday. Reality Yesterday.
🤖 Zuckerberg Is Replacing You With AI
💀 Microsoft Wants Its Employees To Quit
🚗 The Avis Short Squeeze Is Dead
👀 This CEO Just Bought $1 Million of His Stock
Yesterday’s numbers:
S&P 500 | 7,108 | -0.41% |
Nasdaq | 24,438 | -0.89% |
Dow Jones | 49,310 | -0.36% |
Bitcoin | $77,815 | -0.48% |
BREAKING NEWS
📉 Records Wednesday. Reality Yesterday.
Wednesday was the party. Thursday was the hangover.
Stocks pulled back across the board, led lower by software and rising oil prices, as investor uncertainty around the Iran war returned to center stage.
The Iran-Israel ceasefire has been extended for three weeks. Good news.
Then US-Iran peace talks stalled and oil surged above $98 a barrel. Bad news.
The market spent the day deciding which headline to believe.
Brent crude pushed above $105 on concern the Strait of Hormuz closure could drag on, worsening the energy disruption. Airlines, consumers, and anyone who drives a car felt that immediately.
The silver lining is buried in earnings. Of the 87 S&P 500 companies that have reported so far, 81% have beaten earnings estimates and 76% have topped revenue expectations. The underlying business results are genuinely solid. The problem is that geopolitics keeps gate-crashing the party.
Tech is still carrying the market, accounting for roughly 57% of the rally since March lows, despite representing only 35% of the index. When tech sneezes, the whole tape catches a cold.
The Munch Take: Right now, there are two markets running simultaneously. Strong earnings. Unstable oil. One of them is going to win. We just don't know which one yet. It's kind of like when my wife says she's "almost ready." The outcome is never in doubt. Only the timeline.

🤖 Zuckerberg Is Replacing You With AI. At Least He's Being Upfront About It.
Meta announced yesterday that they’re cutting 10% of their workforce. That's 8,000 people gone by May 20, plus another 6,000 open roles that will never be filled.
The reason is not a mystery. Meta is spending at least $115 billion on AI infrastructure in 2026 alone, up from $72.2 billion in 2025. Someone has to pay for the data centers. Turns out, it's the employees.
What You Need To Know:
8,000 jobs cut. 6,000 open roles scrapped. Layoffs start May 20.
Capital expenditure guidance for 2026 sits at $115 billion to $135 billion
Wedbush analyst Dan Ives flagged that more cuts could follow later this year
$META stock is roughly flat for the year (so far)
Earnings drop on April 29. That number will matter a lot.

📈 The Bull Case:
Cutting costs while revenue keeps climbing is a textbook margin expansion story
Q4 2025 revenue hit $59.89 billion, up 24% year over year. Net income was $22.77 billion. The business is printing money.
AI replacing headcount means the same output at a lower cost. Wall Street loves that math.
📉 The Bear Case:
$115 billion in capex is a massive number with no guaranteed return
Meta has lagged OpenAI, Google, and Anthropic in generative. Playing catch-up at this cost is a risk.
Cutting 8,000 people while spending $115 billion on data centers is a bet. Bets can go wrong.
More cuts coming, per Wedbush. That kind of uncertainty kills morale and talent retention.
The Munch Take: This is the "Year of Efficiency" playbook, except the efficiency is now called AI and the bill is $115 billion. Zuckerberg has done this before and come out ahead. He also spent years telling everyone the metaverse was the future.
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MARKET OVERVIEW
🍿 Tasty Movers & Shakers
🔵 $INTC surged over 15% after a strong Q1 2026 earnings report, officially clearing its August 2000 record high. The chip giant has now officially erased 25 years of pain. The Trump Administration's stake in the company is up nearly 250%.
💀 $PLTR shed 7.24%, $ORCL dropped 5.98%, and $MSFT fell 3.97% as software stocks got absolutely smoked yesterday. Microsoft also announced its first-ever voluntary employee buyout program, offering exits to up to 7% of its U.S. workforce. Running leaner is the new growth strategy.
✈️ $AAL climbed 2.43% after beating first-quarter expectations. Higher fuel costs forced a cut to full-year guidance, but the market shrugged and bought anyway.
🚗 $TSLA slipped 3.56%. Earnings beat. Revenue missed. The core auto business is still struggling. The scorecard is complicated.
📺 $PARA dropped 4.49% as Warner Bros. Discovery shareholders approved its $110 billion acquisition. Big deals mean big bills.
🏦 $BX Blackstone fell 5.7% despite an earnings beat. Flat returns in private credit and losses in its loan portfolio were enough to erase any goodwill from the headline number.
💳 $AXP Amex tumbled 4.31% even after Q1 earnings rose 15% year over year. Full-year guidance held. The stock is down 14.5% for the year. The market is not in a forgiving mood.
STOCK OF THE DAY
🚗 The Avis Short Squeeze Is Dead. The Bag Holders Are Not.
$CAR went from a car rental company to a meme stock. Now it's going back to being a car rental company. Fast.
The stock surged nearly 600% since March, hitting a record close just above $713 this week as short sellers scrambled to cover their positions. Then Thursday happened. The squeeze ran out of fuel and $CAR cratered 48% yesterday alone, closing at $229.
Here is how it worked. Pentwater Capital and SRS Investment Management together controlled roughly 71% of Avis shares, creating artificial scarcity that amplified every short-covering wave. Short interest ran as high as 25% of shares outstanding against a float of just 10.1 million shares. The squeeze was real. The company behind it was not a growth story.
Fundamentals were already ugly.
Q4 2025 produced an EPS miss of -$21.25.
The company carries $6.1 billion in debt.
Analyst consensus price target sits at $106.43.
The stock hit $847 intraday on Tuesday. It closed yesterday at $229.
The Munch Take: Short squeezes always end the same way. Violently. Everyone who bought above $500 is now doing the kind of math that keeps you awake at 3am. My wife saw the chart going straight up and said it looked "too pointy to be real." She did not buy. She never buys the pointy ones. She is, as always, correct.
🚀 Pre-Market Fuel
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