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☕️ GM Munchers! This is Pip Munch, the trading newsletter that your wife thinks is a gambling problem but we prefer to call "alternative wealth management strategies."

On today’s menu:

• 📉 Slow Start, Bitcoin Collapses & Silver Soars

• 😥 MicroStrategy's Bitcoin Bet Gets Ugly

• 🚗 Michael Burry Calls Out Tesla

• 🛍️ Shopify’s Terribly Timed Outing

• 😬 Japan’s Bonds Are Screaming a Major Warning

Yesterday’s numbers:

BREAKING NEWS

📉 December Opened With Stocks Flat and Crypto Chaos

The stock market sleepwalked into December with all three indexes closing in the red.

Crypto on the other hand? Oh, crypto decided to remind everyone why your financial advisor gets anxiety every time you mention it.

Bitcoin's Leverage-Fueled Nightmare:

Bitcoin got absolutely obliterated yesterday, dropping nearly 7% at one point and falling below $86,000. Ether also cratered around 10% to hit $2,732, while Solana collapsed 10% to around $124.

Here's the kicker: There was no headline. No catalyst. No Elon tweet.

Just pure, unadulterated leverage liquidation with over $800 million in leveraged positions wiped out in 24 hours.

China's central bank issued vague warnings about illegal crypto activities over the weekend, which spooked Hong Kong-listed crypto stocks, but the real culprit was the leverage already sitting in the system like a ticking time bomb.

Remember yesterday when we said Bitcoin stabilized around $90K? Yeah, about that. You can absolutely blame us for jinxing it. Our bad.

On Kalshi, there's now a 70% probability Bitcoin drops below $80K. We bought two weeks ago on the dip and are holding cash until it drops lower—at which point we'll continue dollar-cost averaging like responsible adults pretending to have a strategy.

The Munch Take: 
This is exactly why "diamond hands" and margin don't mix. Leverage is a dangerous game, and December just reminded everyone that crypto volatility doesn't take holidays. If you're holding spot Bitcoin, you're fine. If you were leveraged 50x? You're now explaining to your spouse why the mortgage payment is late.

🥈 Silver Just Did Something It Hasn't Done Since 1979

For the first time since 1979, silver is about to post its first 12-month candlestick with a 100%+ gain.

Read that again. Silver—the "Devil's metal"—is up 100% year-over-year. This doesn't happen in "normal" markets.

Meanwhile, gold is casually sitting on a 60%+ YTD gain, also crushing almost every other asset class while everyone was busy arguing about AI valuations.

Why This Matters:

The game isn't rigged—it's just designed for asset holders to get richer over time. That's the entire point. Industrial demand from EVs, solar panels, and AI infrastructure is driving silver's supply shortage, while gold continues being gold (aka the ultimate "I don't trust anything" trade).

The Munch Take: 
Own assets or watch from the sidelines while they appreciate without you. Silver and gold are screaming that physical commodities still matter, even in our digital-everything world. If you've been sitting in cash waiting for the "right time," congrats—you just watched metals double while you deliberated.

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CRYPTO

📉 MicroStrategy's Bitcoin Bet Just Became a Cautionary Tale

Remember when MicroStrategy's plan was just "use excess profits to buy Bitcoin"? Cute. Adorable, even.

Fast forward to today and $MSTR is down 57% since October 6th, cratering 12% yesterday alone. The company's market cap now sits at $45 billion—which is somehow $10 billion LESS than the value of their Bitcoin holdings.

Let that sink in. The market is literally saying "your company is worth less than the crypto you're hodling."

Here's the Math That Should Terrify You:

• Bitcoin holdings: $55.2 billion

• Debt: $8.2 billion

• Cash reserves (announced yesterday): $1.4 billion

• Net asset value: $48.4 billion

• Actual market cap: $45 billion

What started as a smart treasury strategy turned into a leveraged crypto casino. They didn't just buy Bitcoin with profits—they piled on $8.2 billion in debt to buy more.

The Fear: If Bitcoin drops further or debt comes due, MicroStrategy might be forced to sell their holdings into a falling market. Classic leverage death spiral.

The Opportunity? If you believe in Bitcoin long-term, this could be a generational entry point. The stock could absolutely rip back if crypto stabilizes.

The Munch Take:

This is what happens when "diamond hands" meets margin calls. MicroStrategy went from visionary to cautionary tale faster than my Thanksgiving food coma wore off.

Could it bounce? Sure. Is the debt scary? Absolutely. This is leverage in crypto—it's either Lambos or liquidation, no in-between.

MARKET OVERVIEW

🍿 Tasty Movers & Shakers

$SHOP 🛍️ 
Shopify picked the absolute worst day possible to have a meltdown. Their backend systems crashed on Cyber Monday—literally the Super Bowl of e-commerce—leaving merchants watching sales evaporate in real-time. The stock tanked 4% because nothing says "enterprise reliability" like going down when your customers need you most.

$ASTL 👷 
Algoma Steel just sent layoff notices to 1,000 employees at their Ontario plant, and the stock nosedived 5%. The culprit? Trump's 50% tariffs on Canadian steel. Turns out "America First" means "Canada, you're fired."

$DASH 🥓 
DoorDash jumped 4% after Sequoia decided to drop $100 million on shares. When one of Silicon Valley's smartest VCs bets big on your food delivery app, the market pays attention—even if your delivery driver is still lost three blocks away.

$TSLA 🚗 
Michael Burry called Tesla "ridiculously overvalued" yesterday, which is bold considering their P/E ratio is 288. For context, that's like paying $288 for a sandwich because you think sandwiches might cure cancer someday.

$NVDA 💻️ 
Nvidia acquired a $2 billion stake in Synopsys to turbocharge AI engineering solutions. Synopsys stock popped 4% because apparently being Nvidia's new best friend is worth real money.

$EADSY 🧑‍✈️ 
Airbus dropped 5% on reports of quality issues affecting dozens of A320 aircraft. Nothing kills investor confidence faster than "our planes might have a problem" headlines.

TRADING SUCCESS

🤑 Tuesday Motivation

🚀 Pre-Market Fuel

1. 😬 Japan’s bonds are screaming a major warning.

2. 👀 Trump says he knows his next Fed Chair pick.

3. 🇷🇺 A Russian crypto scammer and his wife were found dead.

4. 🇨🇭Swiss voters rejected a new inheritance tax.

5. 🤝 The US announced a zero-tariff pharma deal with the UK.

🍪 Munchy Memes

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