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☕️ GM Munchers! Mondays at my house are like taking a trade without a stop-loss—my wife’s already yelling and I have no idea what I did wrong… but I’m definitely down bad.

On today’s menu:

• 🌏 Global Markets Are a Mess—Here’s What Traders Need to Know

• 🥇 Gold Holds Strong at $3,044… But for How Long?

• 🇨🇦 Canada’s Snap Election

• 🤯 The US Sold 1,000 Golden Visa Cards

• 😏 Secrets From A Prop Firm Owner

• 📉 A Reddit Group Tries To Bring Down Tesla

MARKET OVERVIEW

🌏 Global Markets Are a Mess—Here’s What Traders Need to Know

If you’re feeling like the market has no idea which direction it wants to go, you’re not alone.

Between geopolitical flare-ups, tariff threats, and enough macro noise to drive a monk mad, traders are navigating one chaotic landscape.

But hey—at least we broke the losing streak.

🇺🇲 US Stocks Catch a Break

After four straight weeks in the red, the Dow Jones (+1.2%) and S&P 500 (+0.51%) finally logged some gains.

Friday’s bounce was helped by Trump hinting at “flexibility” on tariffs ahead of April 2 and plans to talk with Xi Jinping.

That helped calm some nerves after a rocky session caused by $4.7 trillion in options expiring.

Translation: markets were twitchier than a caffeinated day trader on FOMC day.

🌍 Europe Fumbles the Close

While the US was busy rebounding, European indices didn’t get the memo.

Germany’s DAX fell -1.24%, France’s CAC 40 dropped -0.95%, and most other benchmarks ended the week lower.

Trade fears and weak growth data remain key pressure points across the region.

📉 Asia on Edge

Asian markets remain jittery with geopolitical tensions flaring and US tariffs set to hit on April 2.

Chinese Premier Li Qiang warned of “shocks that exceed expectations,” which is basically central banker code for brace yourself.

That’s kept traders cautious, especially with the dollar holding strong.

🧠 Big Picture

What happens this week?

Honestly, your guess is as good as anyone’s—and if someone tells you they know what’s coming, you should smile politely, nod, and then sprint in the opposite direction.

That uncertainty?

That’s what makes trading so wild, so fun, and so full of opportunity.

With volatility spiking, central banks playing it cool, and global trade tensions bubbling like a pot of instant ramen, the key is to stay sharp and trade what’s right in front of you.

Stay nimble out there—more nimble than my wife dodging the “what do you want for dinner?” question.

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POLITICS & FX

🇨🇦 Canada Heads to the Polls

Canada’s political temperature just shot up faster than a leveraged gold trade.

Newly sworn-in Prime Minister Mark Carney has called a snap election for April 28, claiming he needs a stronger mandate to confront what he calls “the most significant crisis of our lifetimes”—aka Trump’s trade war.

According to Carney, Trump wants to “break Canada so America can own us.”

Bold statement. Not exactly NAFTA vibes.

Here’s the quick backstory:

• Carney became PM on March 14 after winning the leadership of the Liberal Party.

• Since then, tensions with the U.S. have escalated dramatically. Trump delayed—but didn’t cancel—a 25% tariff on Canadian goods, and more are expected to hit April 2.

• Carney says this is about sovereignty, security, and showing strength: “We will not let that happen.”

The Liberals have clawed their way back in the polls after a rough start to the year.

An Angus Reid poll puts them at 42% support, ahead of the Conservatives at 37%.

But don’t forget: Carney’s a central banker-turned-politician with zero election experience.

His opponent, Conservative leader Pierre Poilievre, is fluent in French, a seasoned political brawler, and has made standing up to Trump a cornerstone of his campaign.

Both parties are now locked in a five-week sprint to convince Canadians they’re best suited to steer the country through this geopolitical mess.

Markets haven’t reacted strongly—yet—but traders will be watching closely.

The CAD is already in a lot of pain compared to the US Dollar, and it will be the most watched currency pair as the election gets closer.

And remember: if Trump starts talking about annexing Canada again… it might not just be maple syrup futures that go parabolic.

COMMODITIES

🥇 Gold Is Still Glowing: Up 14% in 6 Months

Gold wrapped up last week trading at $3,022—only a stone’s throw from its all-time highs—and it’s now up nearly 14% over the past six months.

Not bad for a metal that doesn’t do anything.

What’s driving the move?

📉 Central banks are holding rates steady but prepping for cuts, which makes gold (a non-yielding asset) look more attractive by comparison.

🌍 Geopolitical chaos continues to bubble—from Trump’s tariff tantrums to rising tensions in the Middle East—keeping demand for safe havens alive and well.

🏦 Central banks, especially in emerging markets, are still stacking gold like it’s 2008.

Some traders think the rally is cooling off... but so far, gold keeps showing up like that one friend who says they’re “just dropping by” and stays for hours.

If uncertainty keeps rising, gold might not be done glittering.

PROP FIRMS

🤑 Monday Motivation

🚀 Pre-Market Fuel

1. Secrets from a prop firm owner. From pass rates to who receives payouts, this is a great behind-the-scenes look at the prop firm world.

2. This group on Reddit is trying to short Tesla stock. The group is called ElonMuskHate and is calling their members to “deposit as much as you can” so they can increase the power of the shorts.

3. Bright times ahead? The US Commerce Secretary said the economy “is gonna be humming” by the 4th quarter.

4. The US sold 1,000 Gold Visas at $5 million a pop in a single day. That’s $5 billion in revenue for the government.

5. After 5 weeks in the hospital, Pope Francis is back at the Vatican.

🍪 Munchy Memes

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