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- 📉 War With Iran?
📉 War With Iran?
Pip Munch
January 15, 2026
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☕️ GM Munchers! The whole world is waiting to see if things escalate between the US and Iran. It's like when my wife says "we need to talk later"—technically nothing's happened yet, but everyone knows the bomb's already been armed.
On today’s menu:
📉 Hot Inflation & War With Iran?
⏰ Tariff Decision Gets Delayed (Again)
😬 Meta Fires 1,500 Employees
🇬🇱 Trump Really Wants Greenland
🤑 Silver Hit a New All-Time High of $93
Yesterday’s numbers:
S&P 500 | 6,926 | -0.53% |
Nasdaq | 23,471 | -1.00% |
Dow Jones | 49,149 | -0.08% |
Bitcoin | $97,400 | +2.22% |
BREAKING NEWS
📈 Inflation's Back, Baby (And Not in a Good Way)
Twenty-four hours after everyone popped champagne over Tuesday's CPI print, Wednesday's Producer Price Index showed up like an uninvited ex at your wedding.
Here's what happened: November's PPI—which measures what producers pay to make stuff—was supposed to come in at 2.7%. Instead, it rolled in hot at 3%. The market immediately threw a tantrum.
Why this matters: PPI is the canary in the coal mine. When producers pay more, those costs eventually get passed to consumers. Translation? Higher CPI is probably coming, which means the Fed's probably not cutting rates aggressively in 2026.
The Munch Take: Some optimists are calling this stale November data. Maybe they're right. But ignoring leading indicators is how you end up surprised when inflation shows up to the party again.
🇮🇷 Is The U.S. About To Strike Iran?
My Twitter feed yesterday looked like the opening scene of a Tom Clancy novel. Netanyahu's jet reportedly landed in Greece—the same move that preceded the last three Israeli strikes on Iran.
Here's the deal: Betting markets are pricing in 64% odds of a US strike on Iran before January 31st. That's not zero, and it's definitely not background noise.
Why markets care: Geopolitical risk means oil volatility, safe-haven flows into gold, and general market jitters. Defense stocks love this stuff. Everything else? Not so much.
The Munch Take: Whether this escalates or fizzles, volatility is already pricing in. Keep stops tight on risk-on positions. If oil suddenly spikes or gold breaks out, you'll know why.
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CRYPTO
🥳 Bitcoin Finally Remembered It Has a Pulse
After what felt like a decade of sideways torture, Bitcoin punched through $97K. The CEO of Binance even declared it's "obviously" heading to $200K—which, sure, why not throw around round numbers?
The numbers: Our 2025 position went from -9% back to breakeven. Our 2023 position bought at $35K? Still printing.
The Munch Take: Bitcoin might've finally noticed gold and silver having the time of their lives and decided to join. Consolidation periods like the recent 57-day grind often precede breakouts. If $94K holds as support, we could see real momentum. Or it dumps again. Crypto's fun like that.
MARKET OVERVIEW
🍿 Tasty Movers & Shakers
🏦 $WFC Wells Fargo: Nothing says "mixed earnings" quite like beating on profits while simultaneously face-planting on revenue. The stock dropped 5% because apparently Wall Street doesn't appreciate moral victories. It's like showing up to a poker game, winning one hand, then immediately setting your chips on fire.
📱 Verizon, T-Mobile, and AT&T all suffered nationwide outages yesterday—the kind of catastrophic failure that would bankrupt a normal company. Their stocks? All closed green. I'm genuinely impressed. These companies have cracked the code: provide zero service, still collect checks. It's the business model equivalent of getting paid to stay home sick.
👍️ Meta just laid off 1,500 people from their Metaverse department. Can we pop champagne now? (Minus sympathy for the unemployed, obviously.) Zuck burned billions on a product literally nobody asked for. It's like your friend who insists on bringing unseasoned potato salad to every barbecue—we told you we didn't want it, Mark.
🚗 Tesla announced you can no longer buy Full Self-Driving outright—monthly subscription only. At this point, I'm waiting for someone to figure out how to charge me a recurring fee for breathing. Netflix, Spotify, Adobe, your car's autopilot... pretty soon my entire paycheck will just be subscription payments I forgot to cancel.
🇨🇳 Broadcom led tech's nosedive yesterday, dropping 5% after China told customs to block Nvidia's H200 chips at the border. Nvidia fell 1.5% in sympathy. When China starts playing import bouncer with AI chips, nobody wins—especially not your tech holdings.
MARKET OVERVIEW
⏰ Tariff Decision Gets Delayed (Again)
Remember how we said the Supreme Court would probably delay their tariff decision? Called it. New rumour: June announcement.
Translation: The market gets to ignore this headline for months, which ironically makes it bullish. Uncertainty kills rallies. Kicking cans down roads? That's what the government does best.
The Munch Take: This is good news disguised as a delay. Until June, traders can focus on actual earnings and data instead of tariff fear-mongering. Risk-on stays alive.
🚀 Pre-Market Fuel
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