πŸ“‰ Tesla Has A Problem

Watch What Happens After This Ticker Hits #1

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BREAKING NEWS

πŸ›οΈ If You Thought Nancy Pelosi Was The Greatest Trader In Congress, Sit Down

There's a new sheriff in town. And he's from Silicon Valley.

Ro Khanna, Democratic congressman from California, has beaten the S&P 500 by 112% since January 2024. For context, Pelosi, the woman who became a living meme for her suspiciously perfect options trades, clocked in at 38.5% over the same period. Khanna didn't just beat her. He lapped her.

How Is This Happening: Khanna represents California's 17th Congressional District. Which is Silicon Valley. Which means he sits in meetings all day with the people building AI. He then trades AI stocks. Aggressively. In 2025 alone he filed 4,107 trades totaling $53 million. That's not investing. That's a second job.

The Twist: Khanna is also one of the loudest voices in Congress calling for a ban on congressional stock trading. He has said publicly that members of Congress should not be allowed to trade individual stocks. He has also filed 4,107 trades. In one year. The word for this is irony. The financial term is alpha.

The Fine Print: The trades are technically filed under a family trust. Khanna says he doesn't personally make the trades. He is also up 112% on the S&P 500.

The Munch Take: A congressman who wants to ban congressional trading is the best trader in Congress. My wife heard this story, immediately asked how to buy whatever Khanna is buying, and is already researching his disclosed positions. I am writing a newsletter. We are not the same.

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STOCK OF THE DAY

πŸš— $TSLA Closed Red On The Greenest Day Of The Year. That's A Problem.

The Dow ripped 1,200 points. The Nasdaq climbed 2.8%. Airlines, cruise ships, memory chips. Everything went up. $TSLA closed down 1%. That's not a dip. That's a message.

Here's what's broken.

  1. 🀯 The Valuation Makes No Sense: Tesla is trading at a price-to-earnings ratio of 320. $NVDA, $META, $MSFT, $AMZN are all under 30. Tesla's car sales are declining. Revenue fell 3% in 2025. The stock is priced like it's growing at warp speed. It is not.

  2. 🐻 The Bear Case Is Getting Louder: Q1 deliveries came in at 358,023 vehicles. 7,000 short of expectations. The company built 50,000 more cars than it sold. JPMorgan has a price target of $145. The stock is at $341. Elon is busy with SpaceX and X. The Cybertruck flopped. FSD might become a commodity. Rivian is releasing a Model Y competitor. Pick a problem. There are several.

  3. πŸš€ The SpaceX Problem: The real headwind nobody is pricing in yet. SpaceX goes public this summer at a rumored $1.75 trillion valuation. For years, Tesla was how you invested in Elon Musk. The day SpaceX lists, that thesis evaporates. Tesla holders will sell to get into the new shiny object. Elon's attention follows. The money follows Elon's attention.

The Munch Take: Buying $TSLA right now means betting everything on Optimus the robot saving the company before SpaceX steals its investors. That's not a trade. That's a prayer. Love the car but don’t love the stock. At least, now until it goes way lower.

πŸͺ Munchy Memes

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