📉 The Clock Is Running Out

How To Own SpaceX Before Elon’s IPO

Elon Musk is quietly planning the largest IPO in stock market history.

By taking SpaceX public, he stands to gain an instant $625 billion in new wealth.

The good news, for you and I, is we can essentially partner with Elon before he cashes out with this record payday.

All you need is $100… plus the ticker I'd like to share with you.

Sincerely,
Tim Bohen

☕️ GM Munchers! I told my wife the Easter chocolate was an investment in morale during a volatile geopolitical period. She told me my pants disagree. The pants are right.

On today’s menu:

  • 🛢️ The Clock Is Running. Today 8pm Is All That Matters.

  • 🦨 Jamie Dimon Smells Something. And It Ain't Good.

  • 🥚 Eggs Are Cheap Again

  • 🚗 JPMorgan Just Handed Tesla A 60% Death Sentence

  • 📈 This Mineral Stock Is Up 332% YTD

Yesterday’s numbers:

S&P 500

6,611

+0.44%

Nasdaq

21,996

+0.54%

Dow Jones

46,669

+0.36%

Bitcoin

$69,500

+0.76%

BREAKING NEWS

🛢️ The Clock Is Running. Today 8pm Is All That Matters.

Trump yesterday set what feels like the 50th deadline and the market spent all day doing exactly nothing while it waited to find out if he means it this time. Iran has until today at 8pm ET to open the Strait of Hormuz or Trump strikes the power plants and bridges.

Here is where everything stands right now:

  • Oil is above $111 a barrel. Gas at the pump hit $4.11 a gallon nationally, up from $2.98 before the war.

  • Shipping traffic through the Strait of Hormuz is 95% below pre-war levels.

  • Prediction markets put the odds of a deal before June at 21%.

  • Pakistan, Egypt and Turkey are trying for a 45-day ceasefire to head off the strikes. Iran called it illogical. Trump called their counteroffer "not good enough, but a significant step."

That is the most optimistic thing either side has said in weeks, and the market rallied as a result.

The Munch Take: Trump saying “the entire country could be taken out in one night” and the market rallying is peak 2026. Nobody knows what’s going on or who to believe. The market is not trading fundamentals right now. It’s trading on one variable: does the Strait open, or do the power plants go dark? Everything else is noise until Wednesday morning.

🦨 Jamie Dimon Smells Something. And It Ain't Good.

Last year, Jamie Dimon found cockroaches in the walls. This year, he found a skunk at the party.

In his most sobering shareholder letter to date, the $JPM CEO warned that the Iran war has created a global economy fighting with stickier inflation and the very real possibility of unexpectedly high interest rates. His metaphor budget is clearly unlimited.

The risks Dimon is watching:

  • Geopolitics: Conflicts in Ukraine and Iran are hammering energy markets and snapping global supply chains.

  • Debt: Global deficits are at "extreme" highs. His words, not mine.

  • Private credit: The $1.8 trillion market has weakening standards and zero transparency. When the credit cycle turns, losses will be higher than anyone expects.

There is good news, though.

The "big beautiful bill" will pump roughly $300 billion into the economy. AI capex surged from $450 billion in 2025 to $725 billion in 2026. Deregulation is freeing up capital.

But here’s the thing. Dimon wrote that "the skunk at the party, and it could happen in 2026, would be inflation slowly going up, as opposed to slowly going down." Higher rates would follow. Asset prices would fall. Sentiment would break. Then everyone runs for cash.

Remember, interest rates are gravity. Everything falls when they rise.

The Munch Take: Dimon has been warning about animals in the walls for two years running. Cockroaches last year. A skunk this year. My wife asked what animal comes next. I said I didn't know. She said it better not be whatever's living in our portfolio.

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MARKET OVERVIEW

🍿 Tasty Movers & Shakers

🥚 Eggs Are Cheap Again. Retail eggs are sitting at $2.50 a dozen. That is down 57% from $5.89 this time last year. Bird flu torched the flock, prices went insane, the flock rebuilt, and now farmers are selling below production cost.

🩺 $UNH Just Had Its Best Day In Years. Medicare finally gave private insurers something to smile about. They finalized a 2.5% annual payment increase for 2026. The street was expecting 1.0%. $UNH ripped over 11% on the news. When the government accidentally overpays the health insurance industry, the health insurance industry has a very good Monday.

🏠 Dubai Influencers. Check In. Every finance bro who rage-quit taxes and moved to Dubai for the "real estate opportunity" is now watching that market drop 40%. The content was great. The trade was not. Mr. Munch did not move to Dubai. Mr. Munch did, however, also not make money. We are united in loss, just in different climates.

🍿 $AMC Is Alive. Apparently. $AMC surged 12.5% after posting record Easter weekend box office numbers, powered by The Super Mario Galaxy Movie. People went to the movies. In a theater. With other people. $AMC is still standing. Nobody is more surprised than $AMC.

For years this ticker has been ignored and overlooked.

But Larry Benedict — the hedge fund legend who went 20 years without a losing year — says Trump's "Project 2026" could send it on a rally.

He predicts hundreds of billions of dollars are about to flow into this single opportunity.

It's not AI. Not chips. Not a resource stock.

Click here to discover the ticker before Trump triggers "Project 2026"

STOCK OF THE DAY

🚗 JPMorgan Just Handed Tesla A 60% Death Sentence

Tesla closed down 2.15% yesterday after an analyst at JPMorgan slapped a $145 price target on the stock. With $TSLA trading near $360, that target implies a 60% haircut by December 2026.

The note landed on the back of a brutal Q1 delivery report. Tesla produced 408,386 vehicles but delivered only 358,023. That's a 50,363-unit gap that went straight into inventory. Almost all of it sits in the Model 3/Y category.

To put it bluntly, they don’t have a supply problem anymore. They have a demand problem.

The energy storage part of the business also made it worse. Tesla deployed just 8.8 GWh in Q1, down 38% from Q4 2025 and well below the 14.4 GWh analyst consensus. We have no idea what that means, but when the division that’s supposed to diversify the business is also struggling, it’s not a good sign.

The analyst also cited brand erosion tied to Musk's political involvement, with European vehicle registrations cratering as much as 50% in early 2026.

Their next earnings drop on April 22. Circle that date.

The Munch Take: JPMorgan has been wrong on $TSLA for years. The analyst has been the broken clock of the EV space. But broken clocks are right twice a day, and the fundamentals are finally catching up to the narrative. A record inventory pile, a demand problem dressed up as a growth story, and a CEO whose side projects are costing him customers. The full self-driving is still the most impressive thing they've built. Too bad it can't steer the stock.

TRADING SUCCESS

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🍪 Munchy Memes

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