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- 📉 This Has To Stop
📉 This Has To Stop
Pip Munch
March 06, 2026
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Dear Fellow Investor,
The Iran War didn't just make headlines.
It broke the gold market wide open.
Gold is already above $5,000 and surging.
But the metal isn't where the real money gets made.
There's one tiny company sitting on more gold than France, Italy, and China combined.
It moves 10x faster than the metal.
And right now, it's still trading at a 99% discount to what it's actually worth.
A briefing with the ticker is waiting for you.
"The Buck Stops Here,"
Dylan Jovine, CEO & Founder
Behind the Markets
☕️ GM Munchers! It's official. I'll be spending my weekend at the chiropractor's because this market whiplash is worse than the time I told my wife her new haircut "looked different" without immediately following up with "in a good way." Both mistakes cost me dearly. Thankfully only one required professional medical intervention.
On today’s menu:
📉 Market's Bipolar Episode Continues (Nobody's Winning)
🛒 Costco Crushes Earnings... But The Stock Drops
🤯 The New Berkshire CEO Just Did What?
💰️ The Largest Insider Buy In History
📊 NFP Day: The Super Bowl for Traders
Yesterday’s numbers:
S&P 500 | 6,830 | -0.56% |
Nasdaq | 22,748 | -0.26% |
Dow Jones | 47,954 | -1.61% |
Bitcoin | $71,188 | -2.12% |
BREAKING NEWS
📉 Market's Bipolar Episode Continues (Nobody's Winning)
At this point, just flip a coin because the market has absolutely no idea what it wants to do. After Wednesday's insane comeback rally, yesterday the market woke up and said "actually, I'm calling in sick" and promptly went back to bed.
The Carnage:
All three major indexes closed red. The Dow (the one that's supposed to be boring and steady) had the worst day, face-planting over 1,000 points at its lowest.
The Catalyst: The Iran war is choking global oil supply. Brent crude jumped another 2% to $80/barrel, pushing fuel prices to levels not seen since summer 2024.
Why This Destroys Everything: Skyrocketing oil is an invisible tax on every business. When fuel costs spike, corporate profit margins evaporate. Airline stocks are getting absolutely crushed.
All of this creates inflation, which murders consumer spending and makes the Fed's job impossible. Remember when the market's biggest concern was whether we'd get rate cuts? Those were simpler, more innocent times. Now we're all just worried about World War III instead.
The Munch Take: This isn't ending anytime soon. Trump signalled this could drag on until September. That's six more months of oil chaos, market whiplash, and stress eating. Batten down the hatches and just be grateful we survived to Friday.
🛒 Costco Crushes Earnings... But The Stock Drops
Turns out all those $1.50 hot dogs I've been stress-eating have been paying off. Not for my cholesterol levels, obviously. But for Costco's bottom line.
Yesterday Costco dropped Q2 2026 earnings and absolutely crushed it:
EPS of $4.58 (beat the $4.55 estimate)
Revenue: $69.6 billion (massive)
E-commerce sales: Up 22.6%
Membership renewal rate: 92.1% (people will literally never leave)
So naturally, the stock immediately tanked 2.4% in after-hours, falling to around $995.
Wait, What?
If everything's firing on all cylinders, why did the stock drop?
Two words: Valuation Trap.
Costco's stock is already up 17% this year and trading at a price-to-earnings multiple of 52x. That's higher than Nvidia. Read that again: a grocery store selling bulk toilet paper is more expensive than the AI chip company powering the entire tech revolution.
When a stock's priced for absolute flawless perfection, even crushing earnings isn't enough. The bar's so high that "great" gets treated like "meh."
The Munch Take: Costco's business model is virtually unshakeable. The membership flywheel prints cash, people refuse to cancel, and the hot dog price hasn't changed since 1985. But the stock's historically expensive right now. Long-term investors? It's still a defensive powerhouse. Active traders? Be very cautious about buying a grocery retailer trading at 52 times earnings. That's not value investing—that's hoping someone else will pay even more later.
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OUTLOOK
📊 NFP Day: The Super Bowl for Traders
It's NFP day—the jobs report we get on the first Friday of every month that can make or break markets. For rookies: buckle up, this gets wild.
What We're Watching:
Job Growth: Consensus expects 60,000 to 70,000 jobs added in February (down from 130,000 in January). Hiring's cooling fast.
Unemployment: Expected to hold at 4.3%, maybe tick up to 4.4%.
Why This Matters: If the numbers print as expected (hiring cooldown but steady unemployment), the Fed gets proof the labour market's cooling without crashing. That means rates stay unchanged at their March meeting.
The Munch Take: The market wants Goldilocks data: not too hot (inflation problem), not too cold (recession signal), just right. If we get that, stocks rally. If jobs miss badly or unemployment spikes? Friday afternoon's getting ugly.
MARKET OVERVIEW
🍿 Tasty Movers & Shakers
🤯 $BRK.B For the first time since May 2024, Berkshire Hathaway started buying back its own stock. New CEO Greg Abel also used his entire after-tax salary to buy 21 Class A shares for $15.3 million—and committed to doing this every single year he's CEO. That's absolutely wild. Talk about aligned incentives..
🤑 $TTD Trade Desk CEO Jeff Green just executed the largest insider purchase in company history, dropping $148 million on his own stock. The stock immediately soared 18%. Turns out "skin in the game" is still the most bullish signal money can buy.
🎢 $SIX Six Flags climbed 4.69% after agreeing to sell seven amusement parks to EPR Properties for $331 million. They're selling nearly a third of their parks but keeping the "Six" in their name, which feels like false advertising but nobody seems to care. As long as the stock goes up, call yourself whatever you want.
👙 $VSCO Victoria's Secret dropped 12.16% despite beating both earnings and revenue expectations. Apparently "beat expectations" isn't good enough when those expectations were already sky-high.
🎟️ $STUB StubHub slid 12.39% after posting a larger-than-expected loss and weak guidance. Add potential regulatory scrutiny of ticket resale platforms to the pile of problems. Their losses still pale in comparison to me missing out on concert tickets because bots bought everything in 0.3 seconds.
🚀 Pre-Market Fuel
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