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☕️ GM Munchers! It’s barely Monday morning, and the market’s already grumpier than my wife when I suggest we skip brunch. Spoiler: We never skip brunch.

On today’s menu:

• This Week’s Market Playbook: What’s at Stake 🧐

• S&P500 Drops Hard—Bitcoin Breaks Below $100K 😱

• Microstrategy Buys More Bitcoin 🤑

• An Update on MyForexFunds 👀 

MARKET WATCH
This Week’s Market Playbook: The Quick & Dirty Breakdown 🧐

Buckle up, traders.

This week is packed with events that could make or break your portfolio.

From interest rate decisions to Big Tech earnings, here’s the rundown:

1️⃣ The Fed’s Rate Decision (Wednesday)

Rates are expected to stay at 4.5%. Jerome Powell’s post-announcement zingers could flip markets faster than I mess up a trade.

• Why it matters: Hints of future cuts = stock and crypto rally. Hawkish tone = market mood-killer.

• What to watch: Powell’s press conference—he loves a good unscripted curveball.

2️⃣ Bank of Canada Rate Cut (Wednesday Morning) 🇨🇦

The BoC is expected to trim rates to 3%. The loonie (CAD) is nervous, and so are USD/CAD traders.

• Why it matters: If the BoC’s rate cut experiment doesn’t wreck their economy, other central banks might follow suit.

• What to watch: USD/CAD’s reaction to any surprises in the decision or guidance.

3️⃣ Big Tech Earnings Bonanza

Microsoft, Meta, Tesla, and Apple report this week, with analysts predicting 17% YOY growth.

• Why it matters: These giants are propping up the market. Solid results = S&P 500 rally. Weak numbers? Watch out below.

• What to watch: Tesla’s EV demand guidance and Apple’s consumer spending outlook—key indicators for the economy.

4️⃣ U.S. GDP Growth (Thursday)

Forecasts peg Q4 growth at 2.7%, down from 3.1%.

• Why it matters: Slower growth could mean more rate cuts ahead—a win for risk assets.

• What to watch: A hot GDP print could rattle bonds and the dollar; a weak one might boost stocks.

5️⃣ Aussie Inflation Data (Tuesday Evening) 🇦🇺

Inflation is forecasted at 2.5% YOY, slightly down from 2.8%.

• Why it matters: A hot inflation print could ripple through global commodity and currency markets.

• What to watch: AUD/USD and gold—early-week volatility could be in the cards.

Why This Week Matters

This is the kind of week traders live for: uncertainty, volatility, and portfolio-making (or breaking) potential.

As always, stay sharp, set your stops, and let’s make some moves.

We’ll be here breaking it all down, one event at a time. 💪

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MARKET SENTIMENT

The Markets Are Throwing a Tantrum 🤦‍♂️

Welp, traders, it looks like the market woke up on the wrong side of the bed.

The S&P500 just slid over 2%, and Bitcoin—our beloved moonshot candidate—took a 3% nosedive, dropping below $100K.

If you’re feeling like your portfolio’s being held hostage, you’re not alone.

Let’s unpack what’s going on here before we all panic-sell our life savings.

Tech Wreck Alert 🚨

The selloff started in tech, where shares of Nvidia got clobbered harder than my hopes of ever understanding my wife’s throw pillow obsession.

The culprit? 🤔 

A Chinese AI startup called DeepSeek launched a dirt-cheap ChatGPT competitor over the weekend, partnering with AMD to take on the big boys.

The result?

Nvidia is down a brutal 11% in pre-market trading.

Ouch.

And when Nvidia gets punched, the rest of tech feels the pain.

S&P500 futures dropped 2.2%, and the Nasdaq futures?

Down a stomach-churning 3.9%.

It’s basically like a game of trading dominoes, but you’re the one stuck picking up the pieces.

Flight to Safety 🚀 (But Not for Crypto)

As tech got pummeled, traders did what they always do in a panic—flocked to bonds.

The 10-year Treasury yield dipped nearly 10 basis points to 4.52%, giving bond bulls something to smile about for once.

But here’s where it gets awkward: Bitcoin didn’t get the memo.

Instead of acting as the digital gold it claims to be, BTC shed 3% and is now sitting below $100K.

It’s like that one friend who insists they’re reliable but always cancels plans at the last minute.

Come on, Bitcoin, we needed you today.

The Dollar’s Wild Ride 💵

In currency land, the dollar started strong in Asia trading, rallying on the back of Trump’s renewed tariff talk. (Yes, the tariff boogeyman is back.)

But by the time Europe opened, the dollar flipped, with USD/JPY dropping over 1% before recovering slightly.

Meanwhile, EUR/USD and GBP/USD pushed higher, making forex traders feel like they’re riding Space Mountain—thrilling but nauseating.

What This Means for Traders: Take a Deep Breath 🧘

So, is this the start of another major risk-off wave like last year?

Maybe.

Or maybe it’s just the markets doing their thing—overshooting in every direction. Here’s what you can do right now:

• If you’re in tech, buckle up. This ride isn’t over.

• If you’re holding Bitcoin, now’s a great time to remind yourself why you bought it in the first place (and maybe go for a walk before you panic-sell).

• And if you’re in bonds… congrats, you’re probably feeling smug right about now.

As for me? I’m staring at my portfolio, wondering if I should’ve just stuck with index funds and a good night's sleep. But where’s the fun in that?

Let’s survive the week, traders.

We’ll be here every step of the way to break it down for you—and maybe share a few trading war stories while we’re at it.

🚀 Pre-Market Fuel

1. MicroStrategy bought another $1.1 billion of Bitcoin.

2. A MyForexFunds update. 👀 

3. Which challenge would you prefer?

🍪 Munchy Memes

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