📉 Total Whiplash

Geopolitical tensions have a way of exposing supply chain dependencies.

Recent instability in the Middle East has drawn renewed attention to global energy routes and the broader infrastructure that supports defense and industrial production. Nearly 20% of global oil transits the Strait of Hormuz, underscoring how concentrated certain strategic resources can be.

China currently accounts for a substantial share of global cobalt refining and rare earth processing capacity. Export restrictions in recent years have highlighted the degree to which advanced manufacturing ... including defense systems ... relies on globally distributed mineral supply chains.

In response, the U.S. government has taken steps aimed at strengthening domestic and allied resource access.

Executive Order 14285 designated seabed minerals as a national security priority and directed the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) to modernize and potentially accelerate its permitting framework.

Polymetallic nodules located in parts of the Pacific Ocean contain nickel, cobalt, copper, and manganese ... materials used in defense systems, energy storage, and industrial applications.

Deep Sea Minerals Corp. (OTCQB: DSEAF | CSE: SEAS) has positioned itself to pursue exploration opportunities within this emerging regulatory framework.

Led by a CEO with more than 25 years of offshore operational experience at ConocoPhillips, BP, and Talisman Energy, the company is evaluating opportunities in:

• The Clarion-Clipperton Zone under NOAA’s updated U.S. framework
• The Cook Islands Exclusive Economic Zone under an established local regulatory regime

With a market capitalization of approximately C$26 million, the company represents an early-stage participant in a sector receiving increased policy attention.

Investors evaluating critical minerals exposure may wish to understand how seabed resources fit within evolving U.S. supply chain strategy.

You can review the full report below.

☕️ GM Munchers! Today is CPI day and I've checked my portfolio more times this morning than my wife checks to see if I've done the dishes. Spoiler: I haven't done the dishes, and my portfolio looks equally disappointing. If today's inflation number comes in hot, I'm spending the summer explaining to my wife why our "European vacation" is now "camping in the backyard with a baguette from Costco."

On today’s menu:

  • 📉 A Government Tweet Moves Billions

  • ⏰ Today’s CPI Report Could Nuke the Market

  • 🏦 Canadian Subprime Lender Collapses

  • ✅ Bitcoin, Campbell’s Soup & Bank Stocks

  • 😏 This Billionaire’s Fund Is Going Public

Yesterday’s numbers:

S&P 500

6,781

-0.21%

Nasdaq

22,697

+0.00%

Dow Jones

47,706

-0.07%

Bitcoin

$70,211

+2.58%

BREAKING NEWS

📉 One Government Tweet Moved Billions. Then Got Deleted.

I thought I got whiplash when my wife drives, but that's nothing compared to yesterday's market. Turns out letting government officials tweet before fact-checking creates even more nausea than her lane changes on the highway.

The Setup:

Yesterday, US Energy Secretary Chris Wright posted that a US ship had officially sailed through the Strait of Hormuz. This was massive news because Iran's been threatening to close the strait, which handles 20% to 25% of the world's oil supply.

Markets Lost Their Minds:

  1. Oil immediately face-planted $10 per barrel, dropping under $80.

  2. Stocks rallied.

  3. Everyone started pricing in "war's over, crisis averted, back to normal programming."

Traders were ready to book summer vacations again. Relief flooded the market. The geopolitical panic premium evaporated in minutes.

Then He Deleted The Tweet.

The Press Secretary came out and confirmed that actually, no US ship had gone through the Strait. The Energy Secretary just... made it up? Misunderstood? Nobody knows.

The Reversal Was Brutal:

  • Oil spiked $11 in minutes, rocketing back to almost $90 per barrel.

  • The market sold off every single gain it had made.

  • Traders who bought the dip got their faces ripped off.

Complete chaos. Total whiplash. Nobody knows what to believe anymore.

It Got Worse: CNN then reported Iran's begun laying mines in the Strait of Hormuz. You know, the waterway that 20% of global oil flows through. Cool, cool, cool. Everything's fine.

The Munch Take: At this point, does anybody really know what’s going on? I guess we’re all just trading off of unverified government tweets now. All I know is that until we get actual confirmation that shipping lanes are open and safe, oil's staying volatile and the market's staying bipolar. Buckle up.

Today’s CPI Report Could Nuke the Market (No Pressure)

Wednesday at 8:30 AM ET, the Bureau of Labour Statistics drops the February Consumer Price Index. This is the single most important economic data point of the month because it tells the Federal Reserve whether they can cut interest rates or if they're stuck keeping them high forever.

The Forecast: 

  • Economists expect headline inflation to tick up to 2.5% year-over-year, hotter than January's 2.4%.

  • Core CPI is also expected around 2.5%.

  • The Fed's target? 2%. We're not there. We're moving away from there.

Why This Is a Trap:

The Fed's completely stuck. Friday's jobs report showed the economy's bleeding jobs and needs help. Normally, the Fed would cut rates to rescue the labor market. But they can't cut rates if inflation's ticking back up because that would pour gasoline on the inflation fire.

If today’s number comes in even hotter than expected (2.6% or 2.7%), Wall Street will aggressively price out rate cuts. The dollar will surge. Risk assets will get crushed.

The Munch Take: The market's praying for good CPI data so the Fed can finally cut rates. But if inflation's sticky and refusing to cooperate, we're stuck in stagflation hell: shrinking economy, rising prices, Fed paralyzed. This morning decides everything.

STOCK OF THE DAY

🏦 Canadian Subprime Lender Discovers That Lending to Broke People Has Consequences

Canadian subprime lender Goeasy might have been taking things a little too easy. The company specializes in lending to people who probably shouldn't be getting loans. Think: your nephew who got a $30,000 car loan despite only showing up to his burger-flipping job once a week and spending the rest of his time "finding himself" on TikTok.

The Problem: Subprime lending is already risky. But you know what makes these loans even riskier?

  1. Inflation

  2. High interest rates

  3. Spiking gas prices

Right now, we've got all three, and lower-income consumers are starting to crack under the pressure.

The Catastrophe: Goeasy's loan losses are surging because turns out people who could barely afford payments at 3% interest and $3/gallon gas definitely can't afford them at 7% interest and $4.50/gallon gas. Shocking development, truly.

The company suspended their dividend. The stock crashed 56.97% in a single day. That's not a correction. That's a public execution.

The Munch Take: We're obviously not buying this radioactive waste, but it's worth watching closely. If a massive Canadian lender's loan book is suddenly going toxic because consumers are defaulting en masse, investors will instantly assume US subprime lenders are hiding the exact same rotting debt on their balance sheets. This could be the first domino. When subprime starts cracking, the cracks spread fast.

MARKET OVERVIEW

🍿 Tasty Movers & Shakers

₿ $BTC Bitcoin stubbornly climbed 2% to cross back above $70,000. We're holding steady and praying to the crypto gods that a summer vacation might actually be in our future. The gods have ignored our prayers before, but hope springs eternal in the hearts of delusional Bitcoin holders.

🍲 $CPB Campbell's Soup just hit its lowest price since the 2008 Financial Crisis, down 41% over the last year. Turns out when your product tastes like cafeteria disappointment and costs more than actual food, people stop buying it. Revolutionary discovery from the soup industrial complex.

🔒 $CRWD Cybersecurity giant CrowdStrike climbed 3% after Morgan Stanley upgraded the stock.

🤖 $META Meta just acquired Moltbook, a social network built for AI agents to talk to other AI agents. Yes, we've created social media where bots network with other bots while humans watch. This technology was supposed to cure cancer. Instead we got robot LinkedIn. What a time to be alive.

🏦 $BKX US banks officially entered a technical correction after falling 10% from February highs. Time to buy the dip?

📺 Paramount Skydance slid 7.69% after BofA maintained an Underperform rating, warning the Warner Bros Discovery merger could take years to deliver returns. Translation: two struggling media companies combining won't magically create one successful media company. Math is hard.

TRADING SUCCESS

🤑 Wednesday Motivation

🍪 Munchy Memes

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