☕️ GM Munchers! If you spent the weekend crying over Friday’s chart carnage, don’t worry — same. My wife walked in, saw the red candles, and just quietly handed me a tissue.

On today’s menu:

• 📉 Market Meltown, Huge Data Drop & Buffett Buys

• 🚨 Crypto Just Got Body-Slammed

• 🧵 Walmart, Beyond Meat & DoorDash Make Headlines

• 📆 This Wednesday's Event Could Shake the Entire Market

• 👀 Bill Gates Dumps Microsoft Stock

Friday’s numbers:

BREAKING NEWS

📉 The Market Had a Meltdown… Then a Resurrection

Friday was pure whiplash.

Early on:

• Nasdaq: –1.9%

• S&P 500: –1.4%

• Tech: bleeding everywhere (Nvidia, Oracle, Palantir, Tesla — all getting smacked)

But by the end of the bell?

• The Nasdaq closed GREEN

• The S&P basically flatlined at –0.05%

• Nvidia + Oracle reversed their losses

• Even Palantir and Tesla crawled back from the grave

Translation: We’re officially in a pure seesaw: risk-on → risk-off → risk-on → cry → repeat.

Any small headline swings the market 2% in either direction. That’s how fragile sentiment is right now.

🧠 Why Markets Care
Because this volatility is telling you one thing: nobody knows where rates are heading next. And until that’s clear, every rally is shaky and every selloff is dramatic.

🍔 The Munch Take
Trade the levels, not the emotions. The market’s acting like a toddler overdue for a nap — unpredictable, loud, and easily bribed with good news.

⏰ The First Real Data Since the Shutdown Drops Thursday

This is the catalyst.

Thursday, we finally get the September jobs report — the first real economic data since the government reopened.

Why this matters?

• The Fed has been flying blind for six weeks.

• The October CPI and jobs report might never be released.

• Without fresh labour data, Powell can’t justify a rate cut.

And the probabilities tell the story:

• December cut odds a month ago: 90%

• Now? 48% (basically a coin flip)

Translation: The entire market — equities, crypto, bonds, currencies — is hanging on THIS report. If jobs come in hot, rate cut odds collapse. If they come in soft, Santa Rally odds skyrocket.

🍔 The Munch Take
Thursday is going to be violent. Don’t pretend you’ll “just scalp a little.” Either lighten up or buckle up.

🧓 Warren Buffett Just Bought Alphabet. Yes, Really.

Buffett — who famously avoided tech for decades — just revealed a brand-new position in Alphabet (Google).

A few things make this wild:

• Alphabet is now the 10th largest holding in Berkshire’s portfolio

• Buffett previously admitted missing Google early on was a “mistake”

• Berkshire is traditionally allergic to tech… except Apple

• Buffett is in succession mode — handing the reins to Greg Abel — and this may be part of that transition

🧠 Why Markets Care

If Buffett is finally leaning deeper into AI infrastructure and cloud, it signals something big:

• AI isn’t a “hot trend” — it’s a long-term economic backbone

• Big money wants long-duration exposure

• This is a stamp of approval for mega-cap tech at a time when valuations are under scrutiny

🍔 The Munch Take
When the GOAT buys Google, you don’t fade it. You might not front-run it either… but you respect it.

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MARKET OVERVIEW

🚨 Crypto Just Got Body-Slammed

The entire crypto community is having a full-blown panic attack. Even my wife noticed—I spent an hour breathing into a paper bag this weekend. When she asked what was wrong, I said:

Bitcoin dumped. $1.1 trillion vanished.

She stopped listening. So let me explain to you:

💥 1. Structural Meltdown, Not "Bad Vibes"

Crypto erased $1.1T in 41 days—$27B per day. Market cap is now 10% BELOW the October 10th record liquidation event.

This isn't panic selling. It's forced selling:

• Crypto peaked near $4.3T

• Trump announces 100% China tariffs → first rug

• Largest liquidation in crypto history

• Trump: America will be "#1 in crypto" → temporary bounce

• Then: 41 days straight of structural deleveraging

Translation? Too much leverage on too little real liquidity. Every red candle triggers margin calls → auto-liquidations → more red candles.

🥊 2. Bitcoin Below $94K: Macro Is Punching First

BTC breaking $94K (first time since May 5th) lines up perfectly with collapsing rate-cut odds.

Current numbers:

• 2% chance of 50+ bps cut

• 48% chance of 25 bps cut

A month ago? 90%+ odds.

Crypto trades like a leveraged tech stock: Lower rates = rocket fuel. Higher-for-longer = sell pressure.

When the market realized December isn't guaranteed... leverage unwound fast.

🧠 The Munch Take

We're long-term believers, so we're buying here—but keeping dry powder in case we go lower.

If December cut odds keep falling → more pain. If Powell signals easing → crypto rips.

For now? Watch rate-cut odds like they're your stop-loss.

STOCKS

🍿 Tasty Movers & Shakers

$WMT
Walmart’s CEO Doug McMillon is clocking out for the last time in January. The man took over in 2014 and turned Walmart stock into a +312% monster. That’s not a career — that’s a flawless speedrun. Respect, Doug. Enjoy the yacht.

$BYND
Checked in on our vegan friends… and uh… it’s rough. Beyond Meat continues its historic collapse. If you put $10,000 into BYND five years ago, today you’d be left with $92. That’s not a return — that’s a hate crime on your portfolio.

$DASH
Apparently none of us cook anymore. Doordash popped 6% after strong earnings and a surprisingly spicy growth outlook. At this point, America is being held together by caffeine, flex payments, and delivery drivers.

$STUB
StubHub face-planted 21% on Friday. Earnings were fine — guidance was the problem. Their outlook was so bad it probably made Ticketmaster feel good about itself. That’s how you know it was catastrophic.

$TSLA
Tesla dipped below $400 for the first time since mid-September. Elon said “AI will save humanity,” but right now Tesla shareholders would settle for it saving this chart.

TRADING SUCCESS

🤑 Monday Motivation

🚀 Pre-Market Fuel

1. 😬 The college graduate unemployment rate hit a new crazy high.

2. 👀 Bill Gates just dumped a ton of Microsoft stock.

3. 📆 This event on Wednesday could shake the entire market.

4. 🤔 Trump is buying a ton of bonds.

🍪 Munchy Memes

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