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☕️ GM Munchers! I got over my cold just in time to give it to my wife, which she has informed me was "extremely on brand." Let's hope stocks rally this week, because two sick people and a bear market is more than any man should endure.

On today’s menu:

• ☕ Starbucks Is Closing 250 Stores

• 👟 Even The President Can't Catch This Falling Knife

• 🍿 Tasty Movers & Shakers

• 📅 A Jobs Report, Micron, And A Shutdown Clock

• 🍟 McDonald’s Does Something It Hasn’t Since 2002!?

Friday’s numbers:

BREAKING NEWS

☕ Starbucks Is Closing Stores Because Nobody Wants A $10 Coffee

Turns out charging double digits for a mediocre latte eventually catches up with you. $SBUX Starbucks just announced it's closing about 250 underperforming stores across North America, roughly 1% of its 18,000-location footprint. The move comes with a hefty $300 million restructuring charge, and it's the second straight year the coffee giant has quietly swung the axe right before its fiscal year ends. Last year it shuttered around 400 stores and cut 900 corporate jobs.

Here's the important context, though, because this is less "the sky is falling" and more "strategic pruning." This is all part of CEO Brian Niccol's "Back to Starbucks" turnaround plan. The idea is simple: cut the dead-weight locations that were never going to be profitable and pour resources into remodeling the good stores into cozy "third places" people actually want to hang out in. And it seems to be working, since Starbucks just posted its fourth straight quarter of comparable sales growth after a genuinely brutal slump.

• 🔨 Closing stores can be bullish: Cutting money-losing locations lifts overall profitability, and the market often rewards a company for admitting what isn't working.

• 🛠️ Remodels are the real bet: Starbucks blew past 1,000 store remodels this year and is accelerating toward 1,500, wagering that a better in-store vibe brings customers back.

• 📅 October 28 is the next test: Earnings land then, with analysts expecting EPS to jump to 69 cents from 52 cents a year ago, which would confirm the turnaround has real legs.

The Munch Take: Look, we love a good joke about $10 coffee as much as anyone, but this stock deserves a fair shake. Niccol has a genuine track record of fixing broken restaurant brands, and four straight quarters of sales growth says the "Back to Starbucks" plan is actually taking hold. That said, the stock still trades at a premium valuation of over 50 times earnings, which means Wall Street has already priced in a lot of the good news. Our take? This is a real turnaround worth watching, not chasing. We'd want to see that October 28 earnings report confirm the momentum before getting excited at these prices. Great brand, competent captain, but let the numbers prove it before you pay up.

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STOCK OF THE DAY

👟 Even The President Can't Catch This Falling Knife

Here's a fun one. According to President Trump's latest financial disclosure, his accounts bought Nike stock on five separate days back in July. There's just one problem: every single one of those buys is now down roughly 20%. When even the leader of the free world can't call the bottom on a stock, you know it's been an ugly year for the Swoosh.

Let's zoom out on just how brutal Nike's fall has been. $NKE trades around $35, down more than 30% over the past six months and off a staggering amount from its peak. The company keeps getting hammered by the same problems: weak product innovation, softer demand in China, declining wholesale sales in North America, and a brand that's lost some of its old cultural punch. Just this week, Bank of America piled on with another downgrade citing those exact issues.

• 📉 Buying a dip doesn't work if it keeps dipping: Trump's accounts kept averaging in through July, and the stock just kept sliding, a perfect lesson in why "cheap" alone isn't a reason to buy.

• 🤖 It's part of a bigger pattern: Trump's July disclosure showed 1,156 total trades, so Nike was just one small piece of an account that trades more than the entire Congress combined.

• 🏛️ The White House says hands-off: As always, the official line is that "third-party financial institutions" manage the portfolio, so nobody's claiming Trump personally picked Nike.

The Munch Take: We've said it before and we'll say it again: a low stock price is not the same thing as a cheap company. Nike’s brand is weaker than it was but it’s not dead. But a beaten-down chart doesn't automatically make it a buy, and this is the perfect example. Whoever manages Trump's money kept catching this knife all through July and kept getting cut. Until Nike actually fixes its innovation problem and stabilizes China, "it's down so it must bounce" is wishful thinking, not a thesis. Sometimes the falling knife just keeps falling, president or not.

MARKET OVERVIEW

🍿 Tasty Movers & Shakers

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🖥️ $MSFT Microsoft rose 3.66% after rolling out fresh capabilities for its Copilot AI assistant. Every time Microsoft sharpens its AI tools, investors treat it like another reason to buy.

⚡ $ATLS Atlas Energy surged 13.47% after signing deals with a mystery AI company to help power data center development.

🤖 $META Meta slipped 3.33% as traders cashed in gains following the huge run its Muse AI assistant sparked. After a rally that big, a little profit-taking was always coming.

📞 $TWLO Twilio dropped 7.96% after HSBC downgraded it, arguing the stock got too pricey following its recent climb.

📚 $SCHL Scholastic sank 7.12% after posting a fiscal first-quarter loss. The book publisher gave investors a chapter they'd rather not read.

WEEKLY OUTLOOK

📅 A Jobs Report, Micron, And Fresh Inflation Data

It's a big week, and there's a lot packed into it, so let's get you ready. After a quiet stretch, the calendar is suddenly loaded with the exact kind of data that can swing this jumpy, high-rate market in a hurry.

The headliner is Friday's September jobs report. In today's upside-down world, a weak number is actually good news for stocks, because soft hiring gives the Fed a reason to ease off rate hikes instead of piling on more. With the 10-year Treasury yield sitting near 5% and everyone spooked about a possible hike, this report carries serious weight.

• 💾 Micron reports Wednesday: As one of 2026's biggest AI winners, up nearly 280% this year, Micron's earnings are a real temperature check on whether the AI chip boom still has legs.

• 📊 Inflation data lands too: The Fed's favorite inflation gauge, core PCE, drops this week, giving fresh clues on whether prices are cooling or staying stubbornly hot.

• 🛢️ Watch oil and yields: With crude still elevated from the Iran conflict and Treasury yields near 19-year highs, any move in either can push the whole market around fast.

The Munch Take: The jobs report is the one we're watching most closely, since it basically decides the Fed's next move. Our stance never changes: if this week's headlines spook the market and drag quality names lower, that's our shopping cue, not our panic button. Keep your list ready and let the volatility come to you.

🚀 Pre-Market Fuel

1. 👀 Claim the stock ticker I promised you (Ad)

2. 🍟 McDonald’s on pace for worst year since 2002!?

3. 🇦🇷 Argentina’s currency is now basically worthless.

4. 🤯 Americans owe how much in car loans?

🍪 Munchy Memes

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