☕️ GM Munchers! The market yesterday was as bipolar as my wife deciding where to eat — up, down, panic, peace, then back to meltdown over Chipotle again.

On today’s menu:

• 📉 The Market Gave Us Whiplash

• 🍏 Apple Just Lost $640B — Here’s Why

• 🫣 Wall Street Is Turning On Itself

• ❌ A Warning From JP Morgan

• 😬 Did This Prop Firm Deny A Payout?

BREAKING NEWS

🔄📉 The Market Gave Us Whiplash

Imagine opening your charts, seeing everything bleeding, and thinking, “Welp, it’s gonna be one of those days.”

Then, suddenly—BOOM. Stocks spike like your heart rate during an unexpected NFP drop.

What happened?

A tweet. From a random, unverified account. That claimed Trump was going to pause all tariffs for 90 days (except for China, of course). No source, no press release, no credibility. Just pure vibes and capital letters.

But that was enough.

The Dow surged 2,595 points off the lows—marking the largest intraday point swing ever.

Trillions of dollars re-entered the market within minutes.

Meme stocks went vertical.

Your trading buddy who was shorting everything? Radio silent.

📉 Then the White House stepped in with a cold splash of reality: “That rumor? Fake news.”

The rally instantly reversed.

By the end of the day, the Dow had dropped 349 points to close at 37,965.60, while the S&P 500 slipped 0.23% and the Nasdaq managed a tiny +0.10% uptick.

The S&P, at one point down 4.7%, briefly flirted with bear market territory.

In other words: total chaos that resolved into… a flat line.

Literally.

The market closed basically unchanged after what felt like the emotional equivalent of trading FOMC on 3 hours of sleep and too much caffeine.

🗣️ Meanwhile, Trump made things crystal clear (as in, not clear at all).

He reiterated that tariffs will hit April 9th as planned.

In fact, he threatened even more tariffs on China—up to 50%—if they don’t withdraw their retaliatory 34% hike. He also said talks with China are off... but negotiations with other countries are on.

Clear as mud.

🧐 So where does that leave us?

Some traders think today’s volatility signals a market desperate for clarity. Others see it as the start of something uglier.

But most of us?

We’re just trying to keep our faces off the keyboard long enough to make it to Wednesday.

Flat close or not, this was one of the craziest days in recent memory.

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STOCKS

🍏 Apple Just Lost $640B — Here’s Why

Forget falling fruit — Apple just dropped a whole orchard’s worth of market cap.

Over the last three trading days, Apple has lost nearly $640 billion in value, with the stock falling over 25%.

That’s not a typo. ❌ 

That’s the kind of number you expect from an altcoin rug pull, not a $3 trillion tech behemoth. But here we are.

So what’s going on?

Well, turns out being dependent on China for over 90% of your manufacturing becomes… a tiny bit problematic when the U.S. president slaps them with 54% combined tariffs and calls it “liberating the economy.”

And it’s not just China. 🇨🇳 

Apple also relies heavily on Vietnam and India — both of which are now facing reciprocal tariffs of 46% and 26%, respectively.

That means almost every iPhone, iPad, and AirPod Apple tries to bring into the U.S. just got significantly more expensive.

To make matters worse, Apple isn’t getting any kind of exemption.

Despite Tim Cook’s best efforts (he even attended Trump’s inauguration, bless his diplomatic soul), the White House confirmed there are “no carve-outs” for Apple in this tariff plan.

So now Apple’s got two options:

1. Raise prices — which analysts say could drive the cost of its highest-end iPhone up by $350, or

2. Swallow the costs — which Barclays says could slash earnings by 15%.

Either way, it’s a lose-lose.

The kind of choice that makes you wonder if Tim Cook is currently scrolling Zillow listings in Taiwan.

Apple declined to comment. Which is fair, because what exactly do you say after watching $640 billion vanish in 72 hours?

For now, it’s clear: these tariffs aren’t just squeezing margins — they’re putting the world’s most valuable company in a chokehold.

DRAMA

🫣 Wall Street Is Turning On Itself

When the market gets messy, billionaires start beefing.

That’s exactly what happened this weekend after legendary investor Bill Ackman lit up Twitter with a hot take aimed directly at Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick.

His accusation?

That Lutnick was “indifferent to the stock market and the economy crashing,” claiming it was a conflict of interest for someone so heavily leveraged in fixed income to be steering U.S. trade policy.

It was Wall Street’s version of a cage match. 🔔

Hours later, Ackman walked it back, saying it was “unfair” and that Lutnick was doing the best he could.

Classic billionaire heat-of-the-moment tweet-delete-regret cycle.

But the drama didn’t stop there.

JPMorgan’s Jamie Dimon issued a fresh warning that higher prices and lower consumption are coming.

Meanwhile, Larry Fink (CEO of BlackRock, a guy who manages $10 trillion, no big deal) told a packed room that we’re probably already in a recession.

Tariffs are now eating earnings like Pac-Man.

The takeaway?

Even the guys who usually write market pep talks are now sounding the alarm. And when billionaires start publicly beefing and Wall Street starts eating its own… you know something’s off.

PROP FIRMS

🤑 Tuesday Motivation

🚀 Pre-Market Fuel

1. Did this prop firm deny a payout? Decide for yourself.

2. A great quote from Charlie Munger.

3. JP Morgan CEO says that tariffs will cause inflation and slow growth.

4. What business owners are saying about tariffs and how it will impact their business.

🍪 Munchy Memes

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